During the week, I meet the my mother at a parking lot between both of our homes so that we can carpool to work. On Friday, my mom dropped me off at my car and as I was opening the door to get in two young black men pulled up behind me and asked me where the nearest Bank of America was. I walked over to their car and told them how the easiest way to get there. They thanked me and went on their way. I wouldn’t have given this moment another thought had the following not happened.
After they drove away, a woman parked near me smiled at me and said, “You’re brave.”
I looked up sharply and asked her, “Why was I brave?”
“I would have been freaked out if two black guys pulled up behind me like that.” She said as she walked toward me.
Now, listen up white people. I’m not the one to say these ignorant statements to. I’m not part of your club. I may be white, sometimes so pail that I’m transparent, but I’m just not the one.
“Why would you have freaked out? Is it because they were men or because they were black or because you’re an asshole?” I shake my head at her and start to get into my car. I had shit to do and didn’t want to waste any more time on this dumb bitch. Yup, she was a dumb bitch.
She laughed a really fake, kind of scary laugh and said defensively, “No, that’s not what I meant.”
“Bullshit.” I say and drive away.
You know, I believe that you get what you give. I believe that people are generally good and I treat them with courtesy and respect until they give me a reason not to. No matter what race, religion, or species they are.
These types of situations always irritate the hell out of me.
The rest of the weekend was beautifully relaxing. I haven’t left my apartment. I haven’t gotten out of my pajamas. Yesterday, I made homemade meatballs and gravy, and then I made homemade doughnuts. My friend called in the middle of my making the doughnuts and when I told her what I was doing she hung up on me and came over. We stood in my kitchen and ate hot, freshly glazed doughnuts as soon as they were cool enough to eat. it was heaven. I could feel my ass growing as I was pigging out and I didn’t care. Have you ever had freshly made doughnuts? They’re delicious.
And that’s all. I’m watching a marathon of the Amazing Race 12 and enjoying the relaxing current that has grabbed hold of me.
Cheers.
Being even further down in the South I hear even more of this bullshit. Obviously she’s a racist so that’s all there is to that.
However, to be perfectly honest I would have helped them but I’d be irritated and get out ASAP. Not because they’re black but because I’m an antisocial asshole. I don’t really like conversating with strangers on the street and I was once robbed at gunpoint in broad daylight through the whole “can you give me directions” gambit. (the robbers were white, if any racists are keeping score) That was a long time ago and I was a lot less fat and angry back then so I don’t fear it these days as I am irritated by the memory when people ask me for directions nowadays.
Anyway, one of the many things I love about you is that you’ll say outloud what I merely think about. You’ll live a lot longer than I because you vent this irritation and are done with it whereas I try to be less confrontational as a rule but then have to dwell on the shit for hours or days until I can get rid of it.
At any rate, moist excellent that you’re having a good weekend.
I love that you called her on her bullshit. Kudos to you!
Ummmm….when you move to Colorado, you best BELIEVE I’m going to be on your doorstep on homemade donut day. Just want to give you fair warning.
mmmm.. hot doughnuts! Another thing I’ll never taste again. Damn!
I’m not surprised about her reaction to the black men. Humans are like that. Sure, some overcome the group dynamic in some ways, but display it in others. For some of us it’s crossing the street when we see a group of black men hanging out ahead of us. For others it may be assuming every guy who says hi in a bar, restaurant, or club is secretly trying to get into your pants. For others it could be the belief that everything from their own political party is by default good and the other party automatically bad. The rich think the poor want to rob them; the poor think the rich want to enslave them. And on and on…
I read something the other day from one of those scientist types about how people instinctively seek those “like themselves” and succumb to a group dynamic that serves to allow them to view those outside their group as worthy of suspicion. His point is that in group situations, like companies or in the military, synergy can be a great thing, but also close the mind to new ideas and fresh perspectives. It’s sad, and ignorant, of the woman to distrust the black men, but not surprising I guess. Personally I’d comment to you on walking up to the car of two people you didn’t know, be they black, white, or from Mars.
Well. When I started to read your post my first thought was “crap! what happened?”.
I don’t know if it was because you said it was two “black” men or just because it was two men. I’m not racist. At least not more so than the next non-racist person. BUT I think as a woman it can be an instinctual thing. I don’t know where you live – but I live in LA and sometimes it feels dangerous and I wouldn’t stop and give any male directions.
The other day I was leaving a store at the same time a black man was coming in. I could see it in his face, the worried look of how I would react to our situation. I kept walking and so did he, he reached the door first and opened it to let me go through. I thanked him with a smile and his face lit up and he gave me the biggest smile and welcomed me back. He was completely relieved.
I probably wouldn’t have got very close to their car but I definitely would’ve given them directions. But it wouldn’t be because they’re black, it’d be because they’re two men. I’d just want to be cautious in this day and age.
I’ve only had fresh doughnuts at Krispy Kreme. Although they’re wonderfully soft and warm I can imagine how much homemade would be better.
Yep, I’ve had white people pretend they didn’t hear me saying, “Excuse me,” when I’ve needed directions. And I’m barely 5′1″. I can beat all their asses, but they can’t tell that by looking at me. LOL
Hot doughnuts???? Yum!!!