I don’t have much to say today. I’ve been super busy at work trying to wrap up everything nicely before my vacation. I will say that I’m sick of summer already. The humidity is killing me. My hair, already thick and curly, is beyond help this morning. I had to pull it back for fear it would suffocate me. I’m uncomfortable in my clothes and I feel miserable from the heat. How many days until autumn? About 100.
Yesterday, while walking to get some lunch at my favorite burrito place, I saw a woman standing just next to the door of the Starbucks next door. I recognized her as one of the regular homeless/crazy people that frequent this part of the city. As I get closer to her I notice that she keeps pointing to her crotch and talking to random people walking by. I get closer and I notice that she’s only talking to the men on the street. As I walk by I hear her say to the man next to me, “Hey buddy, I’m juiced up here.” (points to her crotch) “I don’t’ know how long it will last.” So, I chuckled and went in to get my burrito. I’m standing in line and I started giggling. Then I started laughing. And I couldn’t stop. Because everytime the shop’s door opened I heard this woman announcing that she was juiced up. By the time it was my turn to order, I was crying and holding my pained stomach. The woman behind the counter takes one look at me and says, “We don’t serve the crazies. You’re not crazy are you?” This made me start laughing all over again and after a few seconds I got some control over myself, ordered, and left. And yes, the juiced up homeless woman was still there pointing at her crotch.
And did I have my camera? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Update: I went to get Indian food for lunch today (I’m having an ethnic week, huh?) and the same homeless/crazy woman was on the corner near my building saying the same damn thing. I would have told her to go underground to suburban station to find someone who would be appreciative of your juiciness, but then I remembered that those men down there only like to fuck men.
thats hot…a bum saying they are juiced up “down there”. Uggh..what a visual!
OK, I better get control of myself before my boss wonders why I am laughing at this spreadsheet I am supposed to be working on right now. What would we do without crazy people?
And you know, after my ‘small’ stay in Philly the first part of this month – and walking to and from a few places in the city – I can picture this completely. You guys have some funny bums!!
Although – there was a guy here in Denver with a sign that said, “Need money for spare parts for my rocket ship”. I gave him money, because really- that’s hysterical.
Glad you got a good laugh!!
crap, i’m never around when the horny homeless people are in need of servicing.
i’ve go to do a better job of planning my day.
March: It’s been very humid here, so she was looking a bit ripe.
endless: I’m glad to make you laugh.
hotdrwife: I would have definitely given him money. At least his sign was original.
hotwire: Oh, you didn’t miss much. She was pretty nasty looking.
It’s 100 and 85% humidity. Want to come to Austin???? And I play softball at the hottest part of the day. It will wear your ass out, though
Eww, a juicy homeless crotch….
I wouldn’t have been able to order I’d be laughing to hard…
you must carry your camera with you!!!!!
Oh my Lord what happened???
Deb, that story half grossed me out, and half made my frickin day!
I LOVE IT!
I would have lost my appetite!
Jersey girl you should do stand-up, the visual I got of the hot homeless lady had me crackin’up.
Thanks started my day off nicely.
Oh my GOD! I was rolling, reading this! I can totally picture it too.
One thing about Philly, whenever I would drive in to visit, I’d have to bring in Chipotle for the person I was visiting.
So, I’d love to know what this burrito place you like is. Although, you prob shouldn’t post it here unless it’s a chain. I’ll email you when I come out there, & you can tell me then.
Posted your link on my blog, if you would rather not be listed with such a raving lunatic let me know. Regardless, I’ll be reading your posts for the enlightening humor.
softball: No thank you. I hate this kind of heat.
di: I fixed it. And yes, a juicy homeless crotch. Yuck.
liz: I’m glad. I wonder if I’ll se her today.
annoyed: I eat breakfast at 5 AM, so by noon NOTHING makes me lose my appetite.
mark: Thanks. It was really funny to see.
yllwdaisies: El Fuego is the name. Best burritos I’ve ever had.
mark: Go ahead.
Gross, yet hilarious story!