What I’m thinking about right now….and some stroking….

…and what’s going on. I’m in a pissy, hateful, bitchy, skin you alive kind of mood today.

My sister was admitted into hospital yesterday and will be staying there for the duration of her pregnancy. She was bleeding again, worse this time. They say she had a contraction in the middle of the night and that caused the bleeding. Her placenta is pulling away from the uterine wall which is a sign of labor. If she has more contractions she could hemorrhage and bleed to death, so she’s where she needs to be so that if need be they can take the baby whenever they need to. Which means that my nephew could be born anytime now. Hopefully she can hold out until Feb. 16 when she was originally scheduled to have her C-section.

This Sunday is my birthday. Whatever. All my friends…I’m sorry did you not hear me…..ALL MY FRIENDS are busy. ALL OF THEM. Sooooooo, I have to figure out what the fuck to do this weekend to celebrate. If I don’t have plans by tomorrow night, I’m going to egg and toilet paper every single one of my asshole friend’s houses. I think that is more than fair, since I didn’t miss anyone’s birthday this past year and wait….let’s add up the dinner’s, presents, and drinks I went in on because I’m a good friend and care for people….yup, I think they’re getting off easy.

Do you know what one of my biggest pet peeves is? People drinking hot coffee through straws stuck in the sippy hole of the coffee lid. When I see this I want to knock the cup of coffee out of their hands. I’m not sure why this bothers me so much, but it does.

Why does everyone think Scarlett Johanson is such a good actress? I see her in a film and I want her to blow her nose (she always sounds like she’s stuffed up) and get a fucking personality. She’s a charisma bypass. She has the same dead stare and monotone voice in every fucking film she’s in. She’s one of those people who is lucky she’s pretty.

Remember that guy I told you all I had a crush on. Turns out that he’s in the hospital for a little while. Want to know why? Apparently he has genital warts and had an outbreak. To sooth this outbreak he started using a new cream which caused him to have a severe rash. Instead of going directly to the doctor, he let it go figuring it would go away on it’s own. Well, let’s just say my friend was surprised he didn’t need skin grafting to get things back in order in the crotch region. That’s just beyond gross. Don’t people wear condoms?

Did anyone watch Scrubs last night? No? Losers. They had a song on there called Guy Love and it’s the best thing I’ve seen in weeks. Go here to view and I dare you not to laugh.

Before I get to the stroke, I want to let you all in on an idea I have. I think one day each week I’m going to let someone “hijack” my blog. Meaning that someone can send me a post and I’ll put it up on here. The only rule is that it has to be funny. No politics or religion, unless it’s funny. Shit, I’ll even let you do a parody of me if you want. I’m doing this because I know I’m going to be insanely busy for the next couple weeks and I thought this would be fun. So email me your posts.

And now the stroking….

Sector-9: Miss Sarah is one of my first readers. She came from Marcia’s blog. Sarah is like the punkrocker of my blogroll. The anarchist. But with heart. She’s living in Israel and it’s quite amazing to read about current events from someone who lives there and isn’t getting paid by anyone to water it down. She’s a great read and you should go over there and leave a comment. She also posts some yummy recipes.

So this is my life!?!: I work with this lovely lady. She’s a personal friend of mine. Her desk is one row over from mine and if I talk loud she can hear me. Actually, I can hear her talking now. She’s funny and has an adorable 3 year old daughter who talks like she’s 30 years old. This lady knows my sense of humor and oftentimes we get laughing about something so hard that I almost pee my pants. Mostly, we’re laughing at LJ (cubicle neighbor) cause she’s nuts. Go check her out. Her blog is pretty new and she’s just getting into posting often. Leave a comment and say hi.

Softball Slut: The name of the blog makes me laugh. She loves softball. Even more than I ever did. I love her stories of softball games and family and trips. She’s got an adorable kitty. She’s freakin funny. Go check in regularly and you won’t be sorry.

The LJ Hour: This is not my cubicle neighbor, but someone I found in the weirdest of ways. I won’t get into it. But, I love her blog. She’s funny and a seriously talented photographer. Her dog is the cutest little thing. She writes about her life in NYC and her trips everywhere. She’s a big traveler and it’s cool to see the pictures of all of the places she goes and read the stories. Go over there now.

The Pink Shoe: Well now….there would be no Fresh Air Lover if it weren’t for Marcia. She’s a former work colleague and she’s the one who told me to start a blog. And she’s the one who told me to keep on blogging, even when I thought I had nothing to write about. So, if you love this blog you need to thank this little lady. She’s got crafts, food, and wit…oh and shoes…and she’s a good time. I think you should go over there now.

Have a good weekend.