Last night, I came home to find my apartment a mess. I live alone and I’m a clean freak, as all of you already know. The only other living thing in my apartment is Stella Marie and I doubt she can do this much damage.
Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want to know what the mess was? Here’s what I saw….
I have radiator heat and every one of my radiator covers was removed. I have a small living room so in order to remove the radiator cover in there, you’d have to move my couch which is exactly what they did. I had a lamp on the radiator cover in the living room too. That was thrown on my couch. All of the other stuff was thrown on the floor.
That was just the living room.
I go into the bathroom, same mess. Oh, and they tipped over my trashcan so there were tissues and Q-tips all over the place (which I will blame on Stella Marie).
I go into the kitchen, same mess. Oh, and they shut the door to the closet which houses Stella’s litter box.
Can you feel me getting pissed?
I go into my office, same mess. Oh, and they pushed everything that was on my desk (all in neat and practical piles) over to one side of my desk. Some of the stuff fell on the floor.
At this point I’m ready to fuck someone up. I am really big on privacy and having someone rummaging around in my apartment was more upsetting than I can describe. It looks like someone was doing work in there. I start cussing my landlord out in my head. I know she didn’t leave a message on my cell or work number. I check my landline answering machine (yeah, I still have one of those and always will) and she leaves a message that there was an emergency with the heat and to let her know if the place wasn’t put back right.
Did I mention that my thermostat was set to 75 degrees!!!!!!!!!! I normally leave it at 63 because I get the heat from the apartment downstairs which is perfect. I was sweating my balls off, it was that hot. I get on the phone and call her. I tell her how pissed I am. How everything was thrown all over the place. How the sofa wasn’t even put back. How they shut the door so that my cat couldn’t get to her litter. I then tell her that she’s taking $25 off March’s rent for compensation for the fucking thermostat being set so high. She apologized profusely. I calm down.
I’m exhausted at this point. I’m worried about my sister. I’m getting ass-raped at work (that’s a ‘figure of speech’ for the people who take me literally all of the time) and I’m not sleeping that well. I didn’t need to come home to this shit.
And then, I go into my bedroom.
Yes, I find the same mess in there but my eyes immediately go to what’s sitting on top of my bookshelf. You see, my bedroom bookshelf sits right next to the radiator and houses all of my sex books. But, the books aren’t what gets my attention. Oh no, I don’t care if someone sees those. Sitting on top of my bookshelf, just where I left them, was my dildo and vibrator. I had cleaned them on Sunday night and left them there to dry.
I can’t even tell you how hard I giggled. Because that is a prime example of the way my life goes. Of course, they would be sitting out on the day my landlord and maintenance man are rummaging through my shit. Of course.
I hope you all enjoyed a little slice of my life.
Fresh Air Lover 
OMG I so didn’t expect that ending. That is so funny…but man I would be pissed too if someone had made a mess of my apartment like that. WHY did they need to rummage around? That would piss me off!! I hope anything private like your information was hidden!!
This, in a nutshell, is why I don’t miss living in an apartment. They can pretty much come in any time they want to with little or no warning. That’s bullshit! This is a supreme violation.
I wonder what Stella Marie did while these morons were bumbling around your apartment.
HAHAHA! We live very similar lives, my dear 🙂
jessica: I didn’t expect the ending either. I’m not sure why they needed to rummage and mess up everything. It’s very weird.
shadowdog: Stella Marie is not a people cat. She loves me and that’s it. She probably hid under the bed. I’m just glad she didn’t hide in the closet with the liter because she would have been in there all day with no access to her food or water. There is no heat in that closet either. I would have physically hurt someone if that had happened.
scarlett: Hee hee.
I can sympathize. I have a cleaning lady and when she is coming, I try to put away anything related to human sexuality. In my haste, I once put my jizz rag into the laundry and then later sent it out. I can only imagine the look on the worker at the laundry’s face when they plucked out the crusty jizz rag out of my laundry bag.
At first I thought you were going to say that your apartment had been burglarized… I’m glad that was not the case! But it still sucks though, and I’d have had the landlord knock a lot more off the rent than $25 because I’m sure it took you quite a while to get things back as they should be, and your time is valuable. And then tack on the heat issue and the violation if privacy… I’m sorry but that sucks.
The ending was worth a giggle though.
obesio: Thank you for the story, but honestly…..that was just gross. The very idea of a jizz rag makes me want to vomit.
lizzle: It took me about an hour to get my place back to the way I like it. I was so tired.
Too funny!! I thought, too, you were going to say your apt. had been broken into. Either way, fuck them for not putting things back right. Ugh!
*LAUGH* ah, I totally needed that story today. I’m sorry they trashed your place, but damn… the ending is faboo, baby!
😉
you are a lot nicer than I would have been. I hate people in my stuff…my home is my storehouse of secrets…
I would have been LIVID had that been my apartment! I hate knowing anyone will be entering mine when I’m not home, I sit and imagine them going through my things.
OMG…I’d die!!
hotdrwife: Yep, fuck them.
edtime: Mine is too. It’s my retreat.
weekends off: I was livid. I wa very upset.
ashley: Yeah, it was kind of embarrassing but really funny.
Had an idea that was heading in that direction.
LOL
I’ll tell you, this is the type of stuff that makes for excellent TV….
Ya think? I’m just glad the toys were clean. That would have been mortifying.
This is good to know. If my jizzrag ever goes missing, I will tell the police to eliminate you from the list of potential suspects. And you know that there is nothing lower than a jizzrag thief.
I honestly thought that someone had broken in by the description. I am glad it wasn’t a break-in. Though, that was HIGHLY unprofessional on their part.
Why only ask for $25 off?
I’m with Lily, I would have asked for more off. Even if just for the sake of the litter-box-less Stella Marie! I HATE when people touch my stuff. Annoys the crap out of me.
I think you might understand how mortified I was when the DQ walked up on me while I was at my PC and started massaging my back…with my rabbit.
obesio: No, you can count me out.
lily: I know. I was just thinking about how much more the gas bill might be because of the few hours it was set so high.
s: Hmmm, maybe I should have asked for more.
judy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD, that is funny. I will tease you about this tomorrow.
hehehe that is fantastic ending to the day…I only say that because it added some much needed humor to the day. YIKES on the everything being out of place!!! I have a couple of friends that are cleaning machines and it would freak them out!!!
Hope you have a good weekend 🙂