Oy Oy Oy

I’m very hungover today. Very very very hungover. I got in this morning at 5 AM. That’s right, 5 AM.

I went to a Cinco de Mayo BBQ last night at my parent’s friend’s house. I’m friends with their daughter, who lives next door to her parents. The party was held in their backyards, they don’t have a fence, and about 50 people attended. There wasn’t one Mexican there, so my mother’s friend Joe (who is Irish), wearing his Ireland soccer jersey, held up his home brewed lager and toasts Mexico and it’s wonderful resorts. His Scottish wife, who I’ve spoken about here, yells, “Oy Oy Oy” and we all drink.

Somewhere around 10 PM, we young people start playing flip cup. After a few games, the parents wanted to play and they form their own team. At midnight, a full blown tournament starts with 8 teams. At 3 AM, the tournament heats up and there is some serious smack talking going down. At 3:30 AM, I think, someone suggests I stand on the corner of the table and pull my shirt down to display my cleavage to distract our friend Ron at the end of the table. I go one further (can you say drunk) by bending over and shaking my ass while displaying my cleavage. This works, I chug my beer and make a perfect flip on one try. This leads to everyone screaming, “That ain’t right.” We go on to the final round, where I was told we would be disqualified for any cleavage showing high jinks. I called them all crybabies.

We fucking won.

And, that’s all I really remember. I was fucked up drunk. I woke up on my couch with my pants halfway down my legs, my panties twisted in a very uncomfortable way, one sock pulled over my sneaker and the other sneaker off, and drool running down my face. My friend tells me later that she drove me home around 5 AM and while climbing my stairs, I yelled to her that I had to take a break cause they were too steep.

I’m surprised I didn’t write a post. Hmm.

I almost fell down walking to the bathroom. I showered, cause I smelled like beer. I looked at the time. 9 AM. I had the shakes. My mouth was seriously dry. I guzzled about 10 glasses of water. I fucking collapsed on my bed.

It was suddenly 3 PM. Like magic. I lost 6 hours of my life. Didn’t hear a fucking thing. Didn’t move. My back hurts, my neck hurts. I feel like a train hit me.

In other news…..um, there is no other news. I’ve been watching Little Britain all day. Brilliant. Fucking hilarious.

Yup, that’s all I got.