Ooh, you’ll wait a long time for me…

If you didn’t chuckle reading that e-card, then I have no idea why you like me.

Anywho, I had a fantastically relaxing weekend. I needed to recover. I was so damn tired all week.

Only one thing happened that interrupted my chill out. And what would my life be without drama?

I was petting Stella Marie as she relaxed on my office window sill. I saw a movement in the backyard. It was Mullet Man.

I was told that he wasn’t welcome here on the weekends and I knew that my downstairs neighbor wasn’t home. Actually, none of my neighbors were home, as one of the neighbor’s daughters was getting married yesterday.

So, I see Mullet Man out in the backyard petting the dog and I decide to sit down and watch what he does. He comes over to the pool with a wrench in his hand and takes two of the Tiki torches down. He goes back into the garage and then he stands in the middle of the backyard looking from one neighbor’s house to the other. He wasn’t looking up to see me watching him, but he stood there for about 5 minutes. He then came to the door and knocked a few times. Nobody answered, they weren’t home, so he went back into the middle of the yard and looked around some more.

He then walked back to the door and picked up a foot rest from one of the chairs. I decided it was a good time to walk downstairs and confront him. I was walking down the driveway and didn’t see him or the foot rest. I walked all the way back in the yard and watched the house. I saw no sign of him.

So, I start going down the driveway and I saw his arm from the front door. As I’m walking up, I see a boombox sitting on the step and he’s in the house. Yep, he broke in.

I walk upstairs to get my phone and I call my neighbor to let her know that Mullet Man’s in the house. I’m coming down the stairs and ready to call 911, like I was told to, and I see her pulling in driveway. I run over to her as she walking in her back door and tell her that Mullet Man’s in the house. She walks through the house and he isn’t there. This all happened in a span of 5 minutes.

He must have seen me walking around and split.

She went to the police and they went to him to tell him that he can’t step one foot onto the property or he’ll be arrested.

Seriously, I’m sick of this shit.

Today, I put up orange lights for Halloween and did some yard work. I didn’t lose enough weight to be Betty Page for Halloween, so I’m going to be a victim from The Birds. With a big ass crow in my hair and my eye plucked out. Awesome, right?

Something has been going on my life that I’m not ready to really talk about yet. But, I’m going to copy some lyrics to a song that is so fucking appropriate for my situation it’s scary. I hate when people put lyrics on their blogs, but this is a hint and is a teaser, sort of. So melodramatic, I know.

I’m not in love, so don’t forget it.
It’s just a silly phase I’m going through.
And just because I call you up,
Don’t get me wrong, don’t think you’ve got it made.
I’m not in love, no no, it’s because…

I like to see you, but then again,
That doesn’t mean you mean that much to me.
So if I call you, don’t make a fuss –
Don’t tell your friends about the two of us.
I’m not in love, no no, it’s because…

I keep your picture upon the wall.
It hides a nasty stain that’s lying there.
So don’t you ask me to give it back.
I know you know it doesn’t mean that much to me.
I’m not in love, no no, it’s because…

Ooh, you’ll wait a long time for me.
Ooh, you’ll wait a long time.
I’m not in love, I’m not in love…

Peace out, bitches.