The old lady next door is still fucking sending money to Nigeria and other parts of the world. I have told her it’s all a scam. I yelled at her the other night. I have tried to persuade her to use common sense. I’m so worried for her. She’s absolutely stressed out and I know she’s embarrassed about all of this. Except taking her computer away, I have no solution to this problem. She has no family and so far I’m the only person she’s told all of this to.
Give me strength. Next…
The woman downstairs is having her bedroom painted. Instead of hiring a professional, she gets her crackhead ex-con nephew to do it. I’m not exaggerating. He was in prison for a few years and just got out in the fall. And this isn’t Inbred Nephew. This is someone different. Oy vey, right? Yesterday, she let her nephew borrow her car because he needed more paint. He was gone 6 hours. He did have paint with him when he came back, so she thought nothing more of the fact that he had been driving her car around for hours with no explanation. This morning police from the town next to ours came knocking on the woman’s door. Apparently her car was the get-away car in an armed robbery yesterday. Oh yes, it’s too fucking good to make up. She had to go to the police station and turn in her nephew or she would have been in a lot of trouble.
And to something a bit more amusing…
I was in the grocery store after work and I heard a woman ask her friend if she knew where the jalapenos were. But she pronounced them like this (the best I can do with words)
jail
eh
pen
no
jail-eh-pen-no
I have no idea how I understood what she was saying. I must speak “retarded” or some other dialect closely related like “dumbass” or “ignorant fuck”. I also have the feeling that I probably picked up the language at work.
Ummm…as a joke, I call them ja-lap-a-nos. But then again, I speak retard fluently.
LMAO!! What kinda neighbourhood do you live in woman?!!!
Why do some people never learn after they’ve already been in prison? My best friends little brother is like that. I just want to box him about the head for his stupidity.
I love hearing people misprounounce words. My favorite is listen to some redneck try to say fajitas. It usuallys comes out with them actually saying the j as a j and not an h sound. It usually sounds like a messed up way of saying vagina. You my dear sound like you are fluent in our native tongue out here in good ol Nebraska…Redneck. 🙂
fyrchk: No, this woman was dead serious about her jail-eh-pen-nos. Apparently, I can also speak retard quite well.
bexxie: I actually live in a nice quiet middle class neighborhood. It’s like Mr. Rogers neighborhood. People think the inner cities is where the action is…but they are wrong. Suburbia is where it’s at.
suvvygirl: Most of my family speaks Redneck. I try to communicate with them, but they have a sub-dialect that I’m not familiar with called Too Stupid to Even Be a Redneck.
To Fyrchk and Debbie: …. Then when we do finally get together for dinner in DC, I’m going to have some great translators with me.
Oh yeah, speaking of the butchering of words, I was at trivia last night with some friends (2 of which I’ve know in excess of 13 years), and one of them, I swear to all that is holy, orders some queso and chips and says “can you put the Japs on the side”.
(insert slow blink here)
create an account..tell her to donate to something “you believe in” then a few months later hand her a check back w/all her donations. Poor woman…
My eaight year old calls them – “mouth burners”
Frankly, your neighbors leave me speechless…not an easy thing to do.
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