Come board this lunatic express–Part 2 with an extra caboose added for my neighbors

The old lady next door is still fucking sending money to Nigeria and other parts of the world. I have told her it’s all a scam. I yelled at her the other night. I have tried to persuade her to use common sense. I’m so worried for her. She’s absolutely stressed out and I know she’s embarrassed about all of this. Except taking her computer away, I have no solution to this problem. She has no family and so far I’m the only person she’s told all of this to.

Give me strength. Next…

The woman downstairs is having her bedroom painted. Instead of hiring a professional, she gets her crackhead ex-con nephew to do it. I’m not exaggerating. He was in prison for a few years and just got out in the fall. And this isn’t Inbred Nephew. This is someone different. Oy vey, right? Yesterday, she let her nephew borrow her car because he needed more paint. He was gone 6 hours. He did have paint with him when he came back, so she thought nothing more of the fact that he had been driving her car around for hours with no explanation. This morning police from the town next to ours came knocking on the woman’s door. Apparently her car was the get-away car in an armed robbery yesterday. Oh yes, it’s too fucking good to make up. She had to go to the police station and turn in her nephew or she would have been in a lot of trouble.

And to something a bit more amusing…

I was in the grocery store after work and I heard a woman ask her friend if she knew where the jalapenos were. But she pronounced them like this (the best I can do with words)

jail

eh

pen

no

jail-eh-pen-no

I have no idea how I understood what she was saying. I must speak “retarded” or some other dialect closely related like “dumbass” or “ignorant fuck”.  I also have the feeling that I probably picked up the language at work.

Advertisements