Oh Richard, you’re a dick

Recently, I’ve been receiving emails from…well, let’s just call him a former liaison. One of my old email accounts is forwarded into my real one and I was surprised to see an email from him. Richard. What can I say about Richard? Sexually, he’s never been able to last longer than 30 seconds. Non-sexually, he’s a bit cheesy and says things that are retarded. Let me give you a taste of the emails I’ve been receiving over the past 2 weeks. I also want to point out that I have not answered one of these emails.

Hi Debbie – been a long time…. how are you? I wanted to see
if you were interested in getting together.

Now, I haven’t seen this guy in 4 years. I told him then that I was done with this. I guess he forgot.

They get better.

Hi Debbie – hope all is well. I wanted to see if you were busy this weekend. Wifey is away, so I wanted to see if you wanted to come over and play…

Ew. I feel sorry for his wife.

what about saturday night, i’d love to come to see you but i cant; i have my son to watch. you can come over here…he’d be asleep, so we could have our fun…..Id love to try and do all sorts of things with and to you… been so long. I recall you were cool with anal pleasures as well – id certainly love to help. let me know…. otherwise perhaps another time… any opportunities for daytime playtime? i can come to you for that if you want

Um, what the hell is he talking about? First off, what kind of person does he think I am that I’d have sex with his kid there? Second, why does he think that I’d respond to an email this creepy? Daytime playtime? Gag me.

I wonder how creepy he’d get if I actually answered him.  I just don’t get people like this.  Do they think they’ll wear me down and I’ll finally say…come on over and treat me like a cheap adulterous blow up doll?

Anyhow, that’s all. I just needed to share that.