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Archive for the ‘Ask me anything and I’ll tell you no lies’ Category

Here it is again…”Ask Debbie Anything?”

Before we begin with the fun, I got a few emails regarding the book (…over on the sidebar…go and look…and then BUY IT for charity…) and which post was published. I sent in these two submissions, so I’m not sure which one they chose.

For those of you new to this blog, the rules are that you can ask me anything. It can be a personal question or something silly…whatever you want to know.

(Ding ding ding ding) The starting bell has rung, let’s begin…

Ed asks: “It seems like the last few months have been tough on you. What one thing has made you smile in 2008?”

Being alone has made me smile. I know that sounds like a strange answer, but so many people have been pulling me in too many different directions this year that when I’m alone I feel at peace. I read or listen to music and let my mind shut down for a while.

Scala asks: “A follow up to Ed’s question– what are you looking forward to in the second half of 2008?”

I wish I had an amazing answer to this question, but I don’t know. I want to just do normal stuff like go to the beach, hang out with my friends, enjoy the fall, go Christmas shopping, finish a marathon, and maybe meet someone that I can form a relationship with. That’s all. Oh, and work on my book. I’ve been neglecting my writing (and this blog) for a while and I need to feed the writer part of myself again. It’s been a long time since I wrote something good on here or even looked at the book I’m writing.

Basically, I want to focus on me the next half of this year. Is that selfish?

coyotemike asks:

Hmmm, a question, one to end all questions, to delve deep into the dark parts of your mind and bring them out into the light . . .

Fuckit, I can’t think of any like that. So, what would you recommend I get myself for a nice little treat:

a.) spend a little more each week on a nice piece of cheese, but cut something else out of my groceries;

b.) buy myself a new fountain pen once per year

c.) get a massage.

Dude, get a massage. Cheese can bind you up and I find fountain pens a huge waste of money. Massages are good for you. Go to a massage school where they don’t charge as much as spas. The massages are just as good, even better because the students want to impress you and their teachers.

obesio asks: “Do you think that, in general, people are capable of fundamentally changing themselves?”

I’m sure I’ll get some people who will argue with me on this one (and please feel free to leave you thoughts about this in the comments), but I think that people are not capable of fundamentally changing themselves. We are who we are and we are who we were made to be. I think the only exception to this is when someone experiences something very traumatic. I do believe in those cases, people change.

Now, do I think we can be made aware of certain behaviors or attitudes we possess and then try avoid using them…yes. But, this would mean that your self-awareness would never have a vacation and there will be slip-ups. We’re only human.

I know from my own self that I have things I do that I hate. I’m always asking that question…why do I keep doing that or allowing certain things to happen to me? I know that what I’m doing is ridiculous or irresponsible or whatever, and yet there I go again.

I think that at some point, maybe with age, we start thinking before leaping/speaking and it seems like we’re capable of changing. I sometimes wonder if that is what reincarnation, which I fully believe in, is about. Do we get to change when we are born again? Can we truly learn from the mistakes and successes of our other lives? That’s a deeper question, both on a spiritual and intellectual (and maybe even a kooky) level.

Great question and definitely a great discussion point for the comments.

lizzle asks: “Ok, I’ve kept up with the blog since it’s inception… All your blogs as a matter of fact, so I think I have a pretty good read on you, and you’re always open to answering anything, and I’ve read all those answers along the way… While I don’t pretend to know the real deep down Debbie, we’re bloggy pals, and so I’m going to ask a bloggy pal question. (A three parter at that!)

If you suddenly found yourself thrust into the realm of uber-wealth, (as so many of us do,) I’m sure you’d spend your money in amazing ways, including philanthropic endeavors. Which organizations would garner the bulk of your philanthropic attentions?

Second part: Knowing that the super wealthy like to have a little fun too, and that they have a tendency to sink large amounts of money into very expensive hobbies, let’s say that you suddenly took a sudden interest in breeding racehorses. If any name were available (not on the books as someone else’s horse, or you are not tied into naming according to breeding pedigree) What would you name your derby winning racehorse?

Third part: In the same vein, what would you name your yacht?”

Yikes. Here we go…

Question #1: This is going to sound a bit hokey, and what else do you expect from me, but I would probably start my own charities. I am a bit of a control freak when it comes to where my money goes and I would want to directly help people, not give money to people who have a bottom line to pay before the charity gets divided up. So, here is my plan…

I would buy a farm. A huge farm. I would use 1/4 to grow food to sustain myself. I would have a couple of cows on this part of the farm. Some chickens. They would be merry and treated like pets. I would grow vegetables, fruit, herbs and milk my cows and eat the eggs from my chickens and give all of my overabundence away. To anyone. For free. If a person needed food, they just need to come to me. I hate that there are people in the world who can’t afford to eat, so my garden is their garden. My milk is their milk. My eggs are their eggs. Whatever they want.

Going along with that, I would use 1/4 of my farm as a shelter for anyone who needed it. I hate homelessness. It disturbs me greatly. If a person needed a place to stay, they could come to me. I would only ask that the person help me in my giant garden. That’s it. If they had pets with them, they could bring them. If they wanted pets, they could get them. I would make sure the shelter was clean, comfortable, and safe. And they could stay as long as they wanted.

Another 1/4 of the farm would house a huge animal shelter. I know you knew I was going here. This would be a no kill shelter and I would accept anything…sick, crippled, unsocialized…all animals need food, water, and some shelter from the elements. We humans domesticated animals, they were fine before us, so it’s our duty to make sure they have their basic needs met. I would have staff veterinarians and volunteers that I hand picked for their ability to love and care for creatures. The shelter would house the animals in rooms as opposed to cages and adopting the animals would be free. I know that shelters need money, but I hate that they charge people ridiculous fees to adopt a stray animal. There are so many animals…just give them to good people. Use your fundraisers and other means to finance your operations.

Those are my three charities.

The last 1/4 of the farm would be for my home and private use.

Question #2: I have no idea about racehorses. Not a one. I think the sport is demeaning to horses (I told you I was a bit hokey). But, and this isn’t at all original, I think a great name for a racehorse would be Fresh Air Lover.

Question #3: I would name my yacht “The Puke Bucket” because I get terribly seasick and would never be able to use it without vomiting all over it.

I think I would be the most boring rich person ever. I would still shop at Target, still clip coupons, and still be cheap.

Lex asks:  While I think I agree that people don’t really change all that much, I do believe that our reactions to certain situations begin to create behavior patterns that we erroneously adopt as part of our identity.  I believe that we are who we are, but that a lot of that gets lost when we spend our lives reacting to situation after situation and never take time to find out who we really are and distinguish that from how we’ve grown accustomed to behaving.  How would you distinguish who you are from how you behave or do you think there is any distinction?

I definitely think that who we are is learned and the situations that have challenged us and shaped us throughout our lives.  I also think there are definite distinctions between who we really are and how we behave.

I will use myself as an example.  I always fall for the same type of men.  Emotionally unavailable, self-centered, and selfish.  I’m not being mean, it is what it is.  Now, at some point alarm bells are going off in my head and I find myself questioning the relationship…yet I still repeat this pattern.  I mean, I seriously put up with excuses, lies, and other bullshit to be with the guy.  I don’t know why I do it.  I hate who I become in these situations and know that deep down inside this isn’t really me.  But for some reason I keep doing it.  And until I figure out why I do it, I’m going keep on doing it.

I hope I answered your question.

obesio asks:  A friend of mine is going to be in Philadelphia this weekend.  Do you have any suggestions for casual, tasty restaurant options?  Cost is not relevant but it must be very casual for various reasons (I will not bore you with details).

I have three places that I love…The Mexican Post–mexican food– on 2nd and Chestnut.  Magiano’s–italian food–on 12th and Race (I think that’s address, it’s right across the street from the Reading Terminal Market), City Tavern–it’s hard to describe the food but the tavern was frequented by our founding fathers so it’s really really cool–near 2nd and Walnut, and Budakkan–asian fusion food–on 4th and Chestnut.  Your friend must also go to Naked Chocolate and indulge.  It’s heaven.

shadowdog asks:  All my stupid father wears is Flip Flops.  Seriously, that’s it unless it’s a formal party or something.  But when I showed him a recent that revealed how bad Flips Flops can be on your feet and ankles he agreed to try wearing one pair of new COMFORTABLE slip on typey shoes/slippers if I got them for him for Father’s Day.  I got one shot at this, so with your mad shopping knowledge, is there any brand or store you can recommend?

Crocs.  You can’t go wrong with Crocs.  I wear them every day.  They have all types of shoes for whatever his feet are like.  He’ll love them.  Oh, and don’t get the cheap knockoffs…you must get Crocs.

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Yes, it’s back. Everyone’s favorite segment…..Ask Debbie anything. This was requested by one of my longtime readers, Shadowdog, and I’m happy to oblige. The rules are simple…you may ask me anything. Just leave your question in the comment section.

peach asks: what would you write about if you were to write a book? what has been the most anger inducing event of your life?

I’m writing a book right now. I don’t want to get into it too much, but it’s a book about my life…a bunch of short stories that interlock and overlap. It’s fiction based on my real life. From childhood until now.

There have been two events in my life that caused life-changing anger. One was when I was raped when I was 18. I wrote about it here. It took years to get over the anger. I was mad at everyone, but most of all I was livid with myself. The other event was when my ex emptied out my bank accounts. I remember being so angry that my hands were numb. I couldn’t sleep. I paced my apartment. I really wanted to kill him. He had left the country, so wringing his neck wasn’t an option. I still get angry when I think about him. What I wouldn’t give to just punch him in the face as hard as I can! He’s so vain, it would be wonderful to smash his fucking face in.

Yikes. My heart started beating really hard just writing about him. Grrrrr.

Great questions!

rr asks: Which blogger where you talking about in your previous Post?? Just Curious….Also, if you could reccomend a favourite dish to cook what would it be and why?

Sigh…I’m not going to name who I was talking about in my previous post. I just needed to vent. I don’t need to link them and call them out and cause a big shitstorm. I expressed myself and now it’s done.

As for food…yummy yummy yummy. I have two favorite meals. They are both featured on The Home Cook, my humble little cooking blog. One is Farfalle with chicken and broccoli in a lemon basil garlic butter sauce. It’s easy and there’s something about the lemon and garlic and basil and butter that feeds the happy parts of my brain. I make this so often and so many of my friends request it, that’s almost my signature dish. The other dish that I love is my chili. As soon as the weather gets cool, I need to make this. I’ve had many many different kinds of chili and have experimented with recipes and I think I’ve perfected it. I love this with a cold beer and a big crusty piece of bread.

coyotemike asks:
This has probably been asked before, but I’ll ask anyway: What line from a guy is not only assured to get him rejected but also severly mocked in public? Also, if you could create any improvement to undergarments, what would it be? One more: Are you now, or have you ever worn a beret?

I think any ‘line’ will get a guy rejected and mocked. Seriously. Men need to be themselves, not drop a line. My panties lock themselves automatically after hearing a line.

My improvement in undergarments would be a non-binding, non-pinching, supportive bra that keeps them up and separated. Made of the softest fabric ever. I have no improvements to panties, as it’s not really necessary that we wear them. Bras are a must.

I have never worn a beret.

shadowdog asks: 1) How many blogs have you created in total? You don’t have to link them all or name them specifically, I’m just curious about the total. You have three main ones, you have the one you created for the homeless woman, and the secret one you only recently revealed this week. How many more secret ones are floating out there or have you created in the past and done away with since?

Oh snap. A lot of blogs. When I first started it was Fresh Air Lover and a blog called The Astronaut Pilot, which was about my relationship with the Pilot (when it was a relationship). There’s a part of me that is sad that I deleted that blog. I think I wrote some wonderful pieces on there, but I was heartbroken when we split. I then created The Home Cook and Coquettishly. From My Knees was born this summer. I started a blog for Karen, the homeless woman I was helping but have taken that down due to personal reasons. I have a locked blog called An Angel’s Face Is Tricky….which isn’t anything yet. I liked the title, but I haven’t written anything on the blog. It’s sort of an emergency space for me. In case I need to write something that I don’t want people to read. Or it might be for something else. Not sure. I suppose that I’ve created 7 blogs in the past 2 years, 4 of which are up and running, and 1 waiting for me.

Hmm, methinks I need a life.

2) It’s been two years since my last relationship ended and I STILL can’t get her out of my mind. It’s over, I wouldn’t take her back if she knocked on the door tomorrow (honestly), I’ve dated several times since then, I’ve become very successful in my business since then, I work all the time so it’s not like I’m sitting around pining for her … and yet I can’t get her out of my goddamned mind! What the FUCK is wrong with me? People move on all the time. I got over my wife of 7 years in a couple months. I was only with Victoria for three years and we were never even engaged. And yet this one I can’t get over. What the fuck?!?

What the fuck is right! If I had the answer to this I would be the richest, most sought after person in the world. I feel the same way about the Pilot. I know…I mean I know for sure without a doubt that it’s over between us. Totally over. But I think about him every day. Some people just get under our skin. Drive us crazy. They mess with our molecules. I wish I could just forget about the Pilot like I do with all the other men. I just can’t. Something about him. I’m sure it’s the same with your Victoria. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re just human.

christina asks: What is the perfect 5 course meal for you? What dish do you want to learn to make?

Right now all I can think about is seafood. Any 5 courses of seafood. Seriously. Except for desert. Double chocolate volcano cake sprinkled with powdered sugar.

I have no idea what dish I want to learn how to make. I know I wish I were a better baker. I’m not so good at it. I try. So, I’d love to be able to bake like my grandma used to.

skater asks: I’m totally not trying to be a pain in the ass, I just want to cook that chicken! But, uh, I don’t see basil listed as an ingredient…am I missing something??

You must be new here. Let me be the first to let you know that I’m sometimes retarded. You weren’t missing anything, I forgot to add basil in the recipe. One day my brain will wake up.

I fixed the recipe for you.

Steph asks: Question- Are the boobies real and if so, can I cop a feel to prove it??? 😉 P.S will you kindly include airfare??

My boobies are 100% real and of course you can cop a feel. Please, I’ll come to you. It’s boring here.

razor mick asks: Is there anything wrong with recreational sex? Or not wanting to become emotionally involved with any of your partners?

I don’t think so. As long as you know the game and play by the rules. Basically, don’t toy with emotions. Of course, I’d start to worry if all of your encounters in life were insignificant. I mean, what’s life without human connection. But if what you’re doing now is good for you, then go for it. To hell what other people think.

Obesio asks: You have discussed the Pilot and the despicable young man who stole your money. Other than these two men, what was your most significant, long-term, monogamous relationship? What was the guy like? How long did it last and why did it end?

Other than those two, my most significant long-term monogamous relationship was with a man named Keith. We were together for two years. He was a quiet guy. Kind of nerdy. I liked that about him. He taught me to calm down. The thing that ended it was this…he wanted me to cater to him like his mother did and I was relentless with in my stubbornness. We were young and I don’t think we were ready for the long haul.

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It’s time to ask me anything you want. The rules are simple.

  1. You can ask me anything you want. I can’t promise I’ll answer it, but you all know that I’ll try.
  2. The question doesn’t have to be of a personal nature, you can ask me about things in the world. I have a lot of useless shit stored up in my brain and it would be nice to air the shit out.
  3. Don’t be an asshole. If you don’t like me or don’t have anything nice to say, go away.
  4. Leave the questions in the comments. Let’s have fun.

Go here to see the other Q/A sessions.

Now before you start with the questions, let me ask you all something. If I hosted my own radio show, would you listen to it? Yes, for those of you thinking it…I totally got the idea from DD and Elle (please, you all know they are about 1000 times funnier than me anyhow). It’s just someone brought it up to me today and I’m seriously thinking about it. I promise it will be funny and you all will have the opportunity to call in and chat with me. So, is anyone interested in listening to me talk for a half hour a week?

Now, ask me something…….

Fleas Thoughts asked me:

OK—because I just sprung for rhapsody and I need new stuff to listen too. What are your top 10 musical favs that aren’t mainstream?

Well, as someone who doesn’t listen to the radio at all (just NPR), I don’t even know what’s mainstream anymore. I watched the Grammy’s this year and had no idea what was going on. My top 10 faves are:

1. Tori Amos (her new album is amazing, I haven’t stopped listening to it)
2. PJ Harvey
3. Kate Bush
4. Tool
5. Sleater-Kinney
6. Beth Orton
7. Radiohead (I knew they’re pretty famous, but they are hardly mainstream)
8. Tricky
9. The Roots
10. Bjork

Shadowdog asks:

What is your opinion of people who break up with someone via email or text message as opposed to in person or over the phone?

I’m going to be very honest here and say that I think that person, who breaks up via email or text, is a pussy. It’s completely disrespectful and a bit pathetic. Assuming that the relationship was more than a week old and assuming that the person was intimate (doesn’t matter if it was kissing or cumming), I’d say that the best way to break up with someone is to have the balls to do it in person. I even think that people who break up over the phone are assholes. The problem with these pussy break-up artists is that they always say the same thing….they don’t want to deal with hurting the other person or being the bad guy/girl. Sometimes you gotta be the bad guy. And yes, I think it’s men who break up like this most of the time. I think they believe that they are destroying our world if they break up with us. Guess what, we’ll get over it. I know from my own and my friends experiences that they only time a girl really freaks out about someone breaking up with her is when they do it by any other means than sitting her down and telling her to her face.

coyote mike asks:

If you could redesign your clothing, what would you change?

I don’t remember talking about this, but I’ll answer the question anyway. Everybody knows I have large breasts. It’s very difficult for me to find shirts that look right on me. They are usually very tight across the chest, even though they fit me perfectly everywhere else. If I buy a shirt that fits across my chest, I end up having to get it tailored because it’s huge everywhere else. Even t-shirts and tank tops are annoying. If a shirt is low-cut, it looks like I’m falling out of it. I have a low-cut shirt on today and I have to layer it with a camisole in order to look presentable.

I also get annoyed about the amount of money I have to spend on bras. Unfortunately, I can’t buy a cheap ass bra. I need one that will actually support me and these are expensive. About $40 a pop. The same with sports bras. I can’t wear the ones that they sell at Target or Sports Authority. I have to special order mine, go here if you’re interested, at $52 each. But, if I want to run I need something that will hold me still. I don’t want me breasts at my knees when I get old.

I love my breasts a lot and they really are a lot of fun, they are also a huge source of annoyance and frustration to me. I probably spend a good $300-400 on just bras alone in one year. It’s ridiculous.

So, I would love to make shirts and bras for large chested women who aren’t plus-sized that is affordable and pretty.

march to the sea asks:

1) You have food and water on deserted island, what 3 other things would you want?
2) What do “you” think happens when you die?
3) Boxers or briefs?
4) You can make any 2 “junk food” items have all the benefits of say an apple…what 2 do you pick?
5) You can cure AIDS or Cancer with the snap of a finger, but only one..which one?
6) If you could live anywhere in the world for a year (all expenses paid) where would that be?
7) Growing up what were some of your dream jobs?
8) What is more important health care or education as far as federal funding?
9) If you could change one thing in “blogger” what would it be?
10) Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?

For crying out loud, 10 questions!!!
1. A lifetime supply of razors (I hate hairy legs), matches, a blanket. I hate questions like this cause I’m never going to be stranded on a desert island.
2. I think your body rots and your soul walks around until it finds a place to be reborn.
3. I don’t wear either (I wear panties), but I like men in boxer briefs or boxers.
4. Ice cream and peanut mm’s.
5. Cancer because people can protect themselves from contracting AIDS (for the most part).
6. Moorea, in one of these.
7. I wanted to be a doctor or a teacher.
8. Healthcare. We can’t learn if we’re sick or dead.
9. I wish it had the feature where you could block certain commenters, either from their email address, username, or IP address. WordPress has this feature and I would love if Blogger created one of its own.
10. I don’t chew gum.

obesio asks:

If we assume that sexual interaction can lead to a great deal of pleasure, why is it so challenging to get women to agree to engage in regular sexual contact outside of a relationship? For example, assume that I work in a busy building with many offices and that I regularly see a comely young woman from another company. Assume further that the attraction is mutual. I would like to suggest to her that during our lunch hour we find a private place where we can engage in mutually stimulating sexual activity. Yet the mere suggestion would be considered repulsive, disgusting, disgraceful and disrespectful. Why is this so? Why is making a suggestion of a shared activity that two people might enjoy so out of bounds?

This question is ridiculous. I’m not answering it. Like I said in my comment, I wouldn’t eat lunch with a stranger, let alone fuck them. Why? AIDS, hepatitis, genital warts, gential herpes, crabs, syphilis, clamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, pelvic inflammatory disease, etc…Besides women can fuck anyone they want, so we have the luxury of being picky and it being on our own terms.

tanique asks:

If you have one curiosity driven sexual encounter with a women, that was completely toe curling and you reminisce about it often, does that make you bi-sexual considering you still continue to enjoy sex with men and haven’t crossed over since then but would not be completely against trying it again.

WHAT!!!!!!! I’m coming over to your desk right after I answer this. Ahem…..okay, now I’m ready to answer.

I think to some degree we’re all bi-sexual. Some more than others. If the sex was “completely toe curling” and it made you feel good and you fantasize about it, then what’s the harm in doing it again. You can enjoy both. It’s a shame that society makes us put our sexuality in categories. I say, have fun. As long as nobody’s getting led on and having their feelings trampled on, what’s the harm in having some amazing sex.

coyote mike asks:

Have you, or would you, pose nude for a painting?

No, I haven’t. And yes, I would.

j.j. gittes asks:

Why was I born a muggle?

Right! I wish there was some sort of transfiguration spell that could make muggles wizards. I want to live in that world. It’s awesome.

shadowdog asks:

If Harry Potter dies, would that render the series unreadable to you? I mean, here we are plowing through seven books and millions of words, spending on this time with the guy, and then he fucking dies in the end, after all that? I’m sure I’d eventually be able to read the series again but I’d be pissed for a long time. On the other hand, killing him could be considered “keeping it real” and would be very ballsy on her part.

(also, just to respond to your answer to my first question, I’m on a winning streak where the last three relationships I’ve been in the breakup came from the woman, it completely blindsided me because they never communicated their issues with me, and it happened via [in order] the phone, a text message, and an email. I either need to stop sucking as a boyfriend or start dating technophobes. Of course then she’d tape a letter to fridge. LMFAO)

First of all, let me remove my foot from my mouth. I’m so sorry. You just need to stop dating assholes. Now, onto Harry Potter….I would be really angry if Harry dies in this last book. I think it would be disrespectful to her fans to do that. We’ve been on this amazing journey, routing for this boy….all to have him die. This is a story that needs to end happily. The main theme throughout the whole series has been good versus evil and choosing between what is easy and what is right. I believe that Snape will die saving Harry. He has a Life Debt to James Potter that he never had a chance to pay back and I believe he feels that he has to save Harry in order to be square with James. I also think that his killing Dumbledore was part of a greater plan of Dumbledores. I believe Peter Pettegrew will also die saving Harry. He also has a Life Debt to Harry, because Harry stopped Sirius and Lupin from killing him. I don’t believe it to be Harry that kills Voltemort. I think that Voltemort will be killed while battling Harry when their wands make another Priori Incantem and in that moment when Voltemort is connected with Harry, he will be killed. I could be wrong, but that’s what I think. I also think we’ll learn that Harry is Godric Griffendorf’s heir and that Fawkes will come to him.

Okay, enough of my nerdiness.

steph asks:

Do you have a current blog crush? And if so, give us a clue as to whom the lucky dude is.

Now, that’s a great question. I have a four blog crushes. They are all on the sidebar. One’s initials are my bra cup size. Another one is from the land of the Celts. I like to flirt with yet another. One is funnier than anyone I know. Two are married. Two aren’t. One is a woman.

bonnie asks:

Have you a favorite sex toy you would like to recommend?

I’m pretty much a Good Vibes girl. I love the Rabbit Pearl. I remember when I first got mine I would sit at work and fantasize about using it when I got home. I also love my dildo. It’s been a pleasure to use alone or with my partner. It’s also perfect for practicing anal sex. It’s silicone, so it washes up really well. I just bought one of these and OH MY GOD!!!!!! It’s so smooth and it’s amazing to heat it or put it in the freezer for a few minutes and play with your nipples. The grooves make the friction delicious. And my favorite sex toy of all time (I think I’ve bought 4 of these in my lifetime), the one I use everyday is the Hitachi Magic Wand. It’s a bit bulky and old fashioned looking, but try it. Honestly, the whole neighborhood will hear your screaming your orgasms. I’ve even used this on my partner, at a low speed at the base of his penis right above his balls. He’ll shout the neighborhood down too.

jr estelle asks:

This is an opinion question, because I really don’t see any supporting evidence..why does it seem like the men and/or women who treat women like shit are ALWAYS the ones that “get the girl?”

They always get the girl, but do they ever keep the girl? I think, as I get older, that I’m less tolerant of being treated like shit. I think I deserve to be treated like a queen. It’s taken me a long time to get here, but I deserve EVERYTHING that I want. Once you realize this and stop settling for less, those assholes don’t have any power of you. Why am I single? Because I don’t accept being treated like shit. Those playa’s will get theirs. Let them get the girl today. If they don’t learn how to treat people with respect, they’ll be alone and lonely tomorrow.

Sheesh, I just ranted like a nut. Sorry.

paul champagne asks:

Have you ever kissed and told?

Of course I have.

lex asks:

Question: What clubs/teams were you on in high school and college?

In high school: I was in the Key Club, SADD, Class Treasurer, goalie for the varsity field hockey team, a cheerleader for winter sports, honor society, and an all-state pitcher for the softball team. I went to college on a softball scholarship. I used to be able to throw a ball underhand at 75 mph. In college: I played softball and graduated with a 4.0, and that was enough!

shadowdog asks:

Okay I’m back because I just finished having an argument with a male friend of mine. He claims that women are just as nasty as men in public bathrooms. I claim they have to be cleaner than men because MAYBE one in four guys washes their nasty hands after using the bathroom. Women can’t be that bad can they? How nasty does it get in there?

Women are disgusting. Pee on the floor and toilet seat. Tampons on the floor. Blood on the floor. Shit on the walls. Toilet paper everywhere. Boogers on the stall walls. Toilets clogged. And just as many women don’t wash their hands. And that’s just at my job.

obesio asks:

Here is a new question. What do you think of this excerpt from a scholarly paper?

When approached by an opposite-sex stranger who immediately makes an invitation for casual sex, 75% of men said yes, whereas 100% of women said no (Clark & Hatfield, 1989). When asked to consider minimum requirements for long-term mates, both sexes had relatively high standards for various characteristics; however, only men significantly lowered their standards for short-term partners, especially for one-night stands (Kenrick et al., 1990; Kenrick et al., 1993; Regan, 1998).

The excerpt is interesting, however I can’t form an opinion from two sentences. However, I don’t think the data from the excerpt says anything that isn’t already known.

Here’s my problem. Considering the comments you’ve left here, I feel like your questions aren’t coming from a respectful place. There is more to me than sex and yet, I don’t think you have ever commented or asked me something that doesn’t have to do with sex. It’s tedious and freaks me out a bit. And I feel like you’re mocking me with the question above, since it’s basically the same question you asked before.

mg asks:

Am I a current blog crush?

If not, (damn), what do you look for in a blog crush?

I like funny, grounded people who aren’t psychos or stalkers. And yes, you’re the girl crush. Shhhh, it’s supposed to be a secret!

oneman asks:

You have a passion for cooking. Are there any cookery shows that you watch for ideas?

I love Nigella Bites, Everyday Italian, Boy Meets Grill, Molto Mario, Emeril, Barefoot Contessa, and Paula Dean. I mostly watch the Food Network and always get ideas from those shows.

obesio asks:

Please disregard all prior inquiries. Totally new question: Have you ever been at a movie where almost everyone was laughing but you, or been at a movie where no one was laughing but you?

Yes. I saw Fargo in the movie theater and was laughing my ass off. Unfortunately, no one else thought the movie was funny and I was getting dirty looks throughout the entire thing. Which, of course, made everything even funnier.

joey porter’s pit bulls asks:

How’s the novel coming along?

Someone remembered! How sweet. It’s going well. I’ve been writing a lot. I’ve created another blog, which will feature some parts of the book. The blog isn’t on Blogger and will invite only because of nature of the material of the book. I haven’t invited anyone to read it yet and I’m not sure if I’m going to. I have to get a little braver.

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Well, I still don’t have anything interesting to write about. I’ve been extremely busy at work the past week or so and when I get home, I’m kind of brain dead. Not that my posts are that creative anyhow. So, because my life is so boring right now and because I don’t want to torture you all with what I haven’t been up to we’re going to play this game again.

The rules are simple, you may ask me anything you want. I’m not sure if there’s anything about me left to find out, but I’m sure you all will find some good questions to ask me. Ask away.

katrina asks: “I have a few questions for ya brought on by the coveting of my pictures of the snowfall. How much snow do you usually get? When you do get a good snowfall do you do anything with it as in building a snowman or making snow angels or do you just enjoy the sight? Have you ever had a really good snowball fight?”

The amount of snow we get varies year to year. Last year we only had one good snowfall, the same the year before. Three years ago, it seemed to snow at least once a week. It’s weird. Now, I love the snow when it first falls. I love the quiet stillness of it. Everything is hushed. The roads are empty. I love the crunch of my feet in the snow. I love the sweet way the air smells. I always play in the snow. I make snow angels and my neighbor and I got into a real nice snowball fight two years ago while I was digging my car out. I love staying out in the snow to the point that I can’t feel my feet and then coming in to a hot bath and hot cocoa.

the lily asks: “What is it that you consider your most crushing defeat? (emotionally, professionally, family, it’s a very personal question I’m not pick how you answer it) And how did you cope with and overcome the inevitable feelings that come with failure?”

Oh, this is quite a question. I’m going to tell you a long sad story now. Go get your tea or cocoa and get comfortable. I rarely tell this story.

Three years ago October I had just moved into the apartment I’m living in now. I had to leave my previous apartment because the place was sold. I was living with my boyfriend of two years, Michael. He was an Scottish expat working as an Art Director when I met him. A few months before we moved to my current apartment he quit his job because he wanted to change careers. Unfortunately, he had no savings so I ended up supporting him. So, I found my current apartment and told him that he could move with me if he was serious about finding another job. He promised me he would and we moved.

He didn’t. I was going broke supporting the two of us, as I made enough money to support myself and be comfortable but I certainly didn’t make enough money to support two people. Come December 2003, he wasn’t looking for a job and wasn’t helping with any of the household chores either. The love in our relationship had gone at this point. He was sleeping in the living room. We didn’t talk. I decided to get a second job as a waitress at a local diner to earn more money. I was struggling and I was damned if I was going to use my savings to support him.

I worked at the diner for 3 nights and at 3AM the third night I fell in the parking lot of the diner (yes, I’m suing). It had been snowing all day and night and the lot wasn’t plowed, salted, or treated. I broke my arm in two places and severely bruised my tailbone. Obviously my waitressing career was over.

After this, do you think Michael helped me with anything? Nope. He just went about his laziness like I didn’t exist. Christmas came and went and I knew he had to go. He started abusing my cat mentally. This cat was my beloved Dutch, who passed last year. Dutch has been with me since I was 17. I loved this pet. I caught Michael throwing his boot at Dutch and I lost it. I told him that it would be bad for him if he made me choose between him or the cat.

By mid-January, Dutch had developed fatty liver disease which is caused by stress. He stopped eating and this disease is scary because it throws bile into the cat’s stomach causing the cat to lose its appetite and throw up. The only cure is to get the cat to eat. I tried to force feed Dutch with no success. It was only stressing him out more.

Michael was still doing nothing to help me. My mother knew how broke and down I was, so she asked me if I wanted her to buy Michael a plane ticket back home. Let me explain something here, that’s all Michael wanted to do was go back to the UK. It’s all he ever talked about. He would put Americans down constantly. It was exhausting. Michael also, for reasons I’m not sure of still, had nothing. No furniture, no possessions, no nothing. It was weird. All he had was his clothes. My mother bought the ticket and right after my birthday in January I presented the ticket to him. His flight was in 4 days. He lost it on me and asked me how he was going to survive with no money in another country. I couldn’t care less, I told him. I couldn’t do this with him anymore.

So, he leaves and I take Dutch back to the vet to figure out what we’re going to do. I couldn’t lose him at that moment in my life. I was so sad. The vet inserted a feeding tube in Dutch and told me it was my last option. My bill at the vet was over a thousand dollars at this point.

Two weeks later, it’s payday and I go online to check my bank account. It’s overdrawn $200. I call the bank immediately and as I’m connected with customer service I start reading my statement online. Someone had been taking out the maximum amount of money that I could out of an ATM every day for two weeks. Out of my savings. Out of my checking. I had no money. The customer service rep tells me that all of these transactions were done in Edinburgh, Scotland. That’s where Michael is from. I started panicking, asking them how this could have happened and then I remembered. One time, months before, I had giving Michael my spare ATM card and PIN to use for shopping. He went shopping and gave me the card and the receipt back later that day. He didn’t take out more than that. So, I trusted him.

I had an account at a very small credit union. I asked if I could file a claim to get my money back. No ma’am, he is out of the country and we can’t prove it was him. But what about insurance on my money I ask. They told me to take him to small claims court. But he’s out of the country I say, they tell me their sorry but all they can do is reimburse my overdraft fees from the 5 bounced checks. Yes, my payments to all of my utilities and rent had bounced. And I had no money to pay them.

That was when I heard a distinct crack in my universe. I never had money problems before Michael. I felt so stupid. I felt like I was drowning. I had a broken arm, a deathly sick cat, no money, and possibly nowhere to live.

I have wonderful family, but I was too proud to let them help me too much. My landlady worked out a payment schedule with me. I called the utilities and got on a program to pay them. I got a part-time job on the weekends as a cashier. I worked 7 days a week. I did other things to make money. I ate nothing but potatoes for whole month because it was the only thing I could afford. My mother lost her mind when she found out about that. She started taking me grocery shopping.

Dutch eventually got better. I got another cat named Flannel to keep Dutch company because I was gone so much. I felt such shame because my mother was having to help me out so much. I hated it. I’m crying right now because even thinking about that time in my life is horrible. I was low. I had no life. I worked and came home. I cried myself to sleep every night. I was miserable at work. I had nothing. I had no joy. I worried constantly. I lied to everyone about how I was doing. I told them I was fine and I was the furthest thing from it. And to make matters worse, I was gaining weight from just eating carbs to fill me and not being able to exercise (broken arm and working all hours), and I had no money to buy clothes that fit me so I was wearing clothes too small and I just looked like a slob. Every night before I fell asleep I would panic and stress about losing everything I’ve worked so hard for. But, I learned that possessions are just possessions and I can live without certain things.

Still, three years later I’m still recovering financially, emotionally, and physically. I’m okay enough to treat myself every now and then, but I have my moments of panic. I’m okay, but I’m so scared I’m going to become that poor again that I get stressed out. I sometimes buy too much food because for about 6 months I couldn’t afford anything and I don’t want to have an empty refrigerator and cupboard ever again. Sometimes I even pass on going out because I’m afraid that I’ll spend too much money and then find myself struggling again. My arm still hurts and I can’t straighten it fully. The weight is coming off, but not as fast as I want it to. I was always an athlete and thin, so this process has been trying for me. I’m finally starting to feel myself getting stronger physically. I’m running again and that makes me happy because I always loved running.

Luckily, I have learned a great deal about myself from this ordeal. I know I can survive. No matter what. I will find a way to keep a roof over my head, even if I have to eat nothing but potatoes to do so. I learned that I am strong. Before this, I doubted I was a very strong person. And I’m not so proud anymore. I know that it’s okay to tell people that everything isn’t okay. It’s amazing how people will help you when you need it. It has humbled me. It has exalted me. It’s made me a better person. It made me love myself.

lozo asks: ” what are the odds you give up the butt for me the first time we have sex?”

You know I’ll give it up my butt the first time as long as you let me go up yours too. Fair is fair.

katrice wants to know how to prepare leeks.

This is what I do and I learned it from the Food Network. I fill my sink with cold water. I then take the leek and chop it into little pieces and drop them into the water. Once they’re all in the water, I try to separate the pieces and layers because that’s where the sand is. I then let them soak for about 10-15 minutes. The leeks will float and all of the sand and grit will be at the bottom of your sink. Then you would just use them as you would an onion.

conan asks: “what’s your best recipe for left over roast chicken?”

Chicken tortilla soup
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 medium white onions, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 jalapenos, seeded and minced
3 ripe medium tomatoes, chopped or a small can of diced tomatoes, drained
1 quart chicken stock
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Canola oil, for pan-frying
8 corn tortillas, cut into 1/8-inch-thick strips
1 1/2 cups shredded cooked chicken
1 cup shredded Jack or Cheddar cheese, optional
1/2 cup coarsely chopped fresh cilantro leaves, for garnish

Place a stockpot over medium heat and coat with 2 tablespoons of the olive oil. Add the onions, garlic, jalapenos, and tomatoes; cook, stirring for 15 minutes until the vegetables are cooked down and pulpy. Pour in the stock and chicken, season with salt and pepper, and simmer for 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat 1-inch of canola oil in a skillet over medium-high flame. When the oil begins to smoke, add the tortilla strips in batches and fry until they are crisp on all sides. Remove to a paper towel-lined platter and sprinkle with salt while they are still hot.

Top with the fried tortilla strips (and cheese if using). Garnish with cilantro.

dan asks: “what is your absolute favorite movie of all time and why?”

Amelie. Because it’s one of the most beautiful stories ever. The colors are amazing. The music makes you happy. And the end when they finally get together and she kisses him on the forehead, neck, and side of his mouth—-utterly sweet, romantic, and sensual. Oh, and it’s quite funny as well.

mg asks: “Have you ever had a same-sex intimate relationship?”

I’ve never had a girlfriend if that’s what you’re asking. I have kissed a woman. I was invited to join an sort of friend and her boyfriend once, but the woman and I never had sex. I love women, I think they’re beautiful and sensual—but they just don’t turn me on sexually. I need a cock.

judy asks: “Will you please give up the goods on your secret crush or at least tell us a little about him?”

Shit. I thought I was going to get away with this.

Well, I’m not gonna say who he is. He doesn’t work with us, Judy, if that’s what you’re thinking. He’s a coworker of a friend of mine that I see every now and then at different get-togethers. He’s a little younger than me and a bit of a playa. He always has some nitwit with him who looks like a skinny version of Nicole Ritchie (yup, I said skinny version). And well, since I’m me, I’m not sure if I went after him I would be successful….since he has such bad taste in women. But, he’s smart, successful, funny, and incredibly sexy. And knowing my luck, he probaby has syphilis or crabs.

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Hi everyone. It’s great to have you here. Take a seat. Want some coffee? Oh, you have some. Wonderful. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

I have nothing to write about. Or I can’t think of anything. I’m hitting a road block. I need some help to get me going again. So I’m going to copy Lizzle and open my blog up to questions. Here are the rules…

  1. You can ask me anything you want. I can’t promise I’ll answer it, but you all know that I’ll try.
  2. The question doesn’t have to be of a personal nature, you can ask me about things in the world. I have a lot of useless shit stored up in my brain and it would be nice to air the shit out.
  3. Don’t be an asshole. Cause if you act the fool, I’m going to let you know and then everyone else will know and then you’ll get pissed on by Mitch the Horse.
  4. Leave the questions in the comments. Let’s have fun.

Okay, my lovies. I’m serious. Anything you want. I’d like everyone to participate please. Even you non-commenting lurkers. I see you there. Don’t be shy.

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