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My asshole friend just called me to invite me to a Christmas party that she forgot to invite me to. She sent the invitations out weeks ago. She said, in a very motherhennish superior tone, “Well Debbie, I was thinking of all the couples Steve and I know and in all honesty, we just didn’t think of you. The party starts at 8 if you want to come.” I said hell no. I’d rather get fucked up drunk by myself in my mismatched baggy jammies and these old lady slippers….

….than hang out with those snobby jerks. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

I need new friends. Why they must make me feel bad for being single is beyond me! These people don’t love me. I’m done with them. I officially have no friends.

Hmmm, I’m thinking about telling on all of them. I know their secrets.

Oh, I just discovered Fit TV and I’m going to be doing the Dance Party Workout now because I’m really bored.

I’m seriously excited about signing up for karate. It’s going to be awesome.

Off to make a drink after my workout……drinking the blues away….I’m drinking the blues away…..yeah!

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I wanted to thank everyone for writing comments on the last post and giving that girl your support and kind words. From what I can see on my statcounter, she hasn’t been on my site yet so I left the link to yesterday’s post where she left her question. Fingers crossed that she sees it and gets some help.

Now, I have a few things I have to say and complain about before we get to the stroking.

  1. I need men to explain something to me. Why can’t a woman smile and nod her head at you in recognition without you thinking she wants to bone you? There’s a guy (we’ll call NN, as he has a very nasty nose) who rides the same train with me morning and afternoon. Last Friday, NN was talking to my co-worker (P) and P introduced me to NN. I didn’t talk to NN much, just wished P a good weekend and went about my business. So, this past Tuesday afternoon I was waiting to get the train and I see NN walking by me and I smile and nod. NN looks at me like I’m a freak which is fine since I don’t really know him and if he’s ignorant that’s his problem. Yesterday, I see P as I was walking to get the train and he told me that NN is freaked out by me because I was smiling at him and he’s married. I was like, “Um, okay” until P explains that NN told him that I liked him and that he thought it was rude since I had to know he was married. Huh? Who the fuck said I liked him? Are we in the 2nd grade? I roll my eyes and P laughed pretty hard. We get down to the train and NN is there. I wink at P and tell him I’m going to stand somewhere else because I don’t want NN to think I’m standing near him because I want to jump his bones. P tells NN that I’m not interested in him and that I now think he’s an asswipe (I love my co-worker, he’s hysterical). P told me this when I got off of the train. This morning, I’m waiting for the train and NN tries to converse with me. Oh fuck no. I look right at him and say, “Too late to be nice to me, just fuck off and annoy someone else with your over-inflated ego.”
  2. I’m really annoyed by people who say they are giving you advice and guidance when they are really just criticizing you. Yesterday while I was trying to genuinely help someone, a dumbass commented on here that because of the content of this blog, my advice was a conflict of interest. And then he tries to explain that in saying that he was just trying to help in case future employers are looking at this blog (I erased that comment because I was done arguing when there should have been words of encouragement to a girl). Huh? How the fuck would future employers find this blog and know it’s mine? This is a personal blog where my identity is kept a secret, not a blog that I’m going to put on my resume. I swear the lack of common sense in some people is really sad. Just because you’re an idiot doesn’t mean that I am and that I would put a blog where I talk about getting fucked up the ass out there for my future employers. I’m not going to take much more time with this because I know that stupid people have a lot of trouble understanding things and I don’t want to confuse that one dumbass by saying too much since I know he’ll be reading this post, as he has been stalking my blog since yesterday (I see you coming from April’s blog, fucker).
  3. I’m tired of putting up with assholes who make rude/insulting comments to me on this blog or email rude/insulting things to me about my character. Gloves are off. I’m sick of being nice and polite. If you are an ignorant prick, you are going to get your ass raped by me verbally. Understand? I’ve had it. My one piece of advice is that if you don’t have anything constructive or relevant or funny to add to the conversation, just shut the fuck up. If you don’t like me, go away. Emailing me and telling me what a rotten person I am isn’t going to make me feel bad about myself. I know who and what I am. So do most of the reader’s here. I’m sick of being harassed by these self-righteous judgmental cunts.
  4. I’m been in a funk. I just don’t feel like working out. I’ve only worked out 1 day a week for the past two weeks. That’s bad for me. I hate feeling this lazy. Maybe it’s because of it getting dark earlier, but I have to get motivated.

Now, onto the Ego Stroke:

Almost Infamous: Oh, Dark Damian is a fucking rockstar. If you don’t believe me, check out his blog and see that he plays bass in a band (and they’re really good). I told you, rockstar indeed. I found DD by way of Laurie (Beauty and the Beer) in March 2006. This is the first post of his I ever read. I laughed my ass off, but it wasn’t until he gave me some encouraging words when I got my asshole ripped open by those bitches at I Talk 2 Much who only read one of my posts and judged my whole life. Ever since, he’s been on my blogroll. You must tune in every Wednesday to read his Diatribes and check in with him often to see his and Laurie’s genius banter in the comments. Seriously people, the two of them need to have a talkshow because they are hilarious. Don’t interrupt them though, cause you’re just going to ruin it. I like when people let them go. I guest-posted on HotDrWife’s blog with DD, Laurie, and Fyrchk. He is also a father of two adorable kids and a husband. I’m very glad to have DD as a blog friend and keep an eye out for his band on here for information. I recently heard them play online where they kicked ass.

An Oxymoron Is No An Idiot With Zits: I also found Certifiable Princess (CP) by way of Laurie. She guest posted on Laurie’s blog and I almost pissed my pants. This woman is one of the special people of the world. She is compassionate, funny, informed, and loving. I don’t even think any words can give her blog justice, go read it. From beginning to end. She’s a great writer and at some points has made coffee shoot out of my nose from her stories. She is a survivor and I am inspired by her at least once a week.

B!tch on the Street: This chicky was one of my first readers. I can’t remember how I found her or she found me, I think it was through Marcia (The Pink Shoe). Her candid pictures of the happenings around NYC are fucking hysterical sometimes. Her and her sidekick Pookie’s commentary is also quite funny. My favorite posts are that of the mysterious Watermelon Woman and this post which I still have a chuckle about.

Tune in next Friday when I give the next three blogs a shout.

Have a great weekend and love you guys.

Smooches.

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