Archive for the ‘I’m smarter than you think’ Category

Ah, I just got out of a very hot bath and I’m totally relaxed.

I have random retardedness to talk about, so here it goes:

  1. The construction guy that I’ve had a crush on for months was checking me out.  At least, that’s what I was told today.  He was waiting for the train and my stomach clenched when I saw him.  I got all kinds of nervous and ran to the next car.  He gets off at the same stop as I do, so I summoned my balls and walked slow so that maybe I could smile at him.  Yeah, I know.  Smile.  Very very forward.  Anyhow, I was walking in front of him and was told that he was totally checking me out with a smile on his face.  Maybe I’ll get the courage to talk to him sometime.  But, I’m so out of practice that I have no idea what to say.  How about “Hey, I’d love to be your blowjob queen” or “I need a good spanking” or “I give good anal”.  I know, those are really archaic and prudish.  Maybe I’ll start with a simple smile and a hello.  I’ll wait until we’re dating for a while before I go all old-fashioned on him like that.
  2.  I’m having a love affair with mushrooms that is epic and awe inspiring.  I could make a different mushroom dish each day and be happy.  Nay…I could eat the same mushroom dish every day and still be happy because it has mushrooms in it.
  3. The forest of Endor is currently residing on my legs and I’m not removing it until the weather gets warmer or I go on a fucking date.
  4. I love the new show New Amsterdam.  That’s all.
  5. I’ve lost 32 lbs since the beginning of January.  I’m working out 5 days a week and plan on running my first mini-marathon in a few months.  Bellydancing is still a lot of fun and I’m practicing yoga.
  6. The last Harry Potter movie will be split in two and I’m happier than a grown woman should be.
  7. I need some ideas for books to read.  Bring the recommendations on.
  8. Is it bad that I was so engrossed in a romance novel I picked up at the laundry mat the other night that I couldn’t put it down to go to bed?  Yeah, I thought so.  Pathetic.
  9. There is a huge billboard on the side of one of the roads near my house that features a woman on the toilet making a horrible face and the words “IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME?”  If there wasn’t so much traffic I would have stopped and took a picture.  The best billboard ever.
  10. All of this religious text reading gives me a headache.  I have so much to say that I’m having trouble making sense of my frantic notes and putting everything in some kind of comprehensible paragraph.  All I have to say is that all roads from the garden are leading to more than just the Abrahamic religions.  I’m talking about deep reading into all kinds of texts that were written before the Old Testament.  I know that this isn’t a surprise to those of you who know something about history and human kind, but this study could seriously be a life’s journey.  I’m so fucking fascinated, challenged, humbled, and horrified by what I’m reading in all of these texts…especially the famous ones like The Old Testament and Qu’ran.  The politics and propaganda contained in these stories are amazing.  If there is indeed one almighty god out there, he is embarrassed and ashamed of us for writing these stories in his name.  The stories are so ridiculously human that I find it absolutely appalling that after several millennia of existence, people are still allowing themselves to be governed by a bunch of stories and duped by a bunch of people manipulating those stories to fit their own agendas.  Unbelievable.  What does Sophia say about this, I wonder?  You know, the gods didn’t give us humans such big brains if they didn’t want us to use them and question things.  And by things, I mean all things including religion and existence…not just how to turn lightening into managed electric.
  11.  Wish me luck with the construction worker.  I haven’t been this squirrelly around a man in years.  No lie.  I’m fucking skittish, shy, and backward around him.  I want to bite his chin.  Yeah, I’m weird.

Okay, I’m back to watching American Idol and listening to Paula Abdul provide a perfect example of what the opposite of eloquent speech is.  It’s painful, isn’t it?


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I’ve been getting lots of emails lately telling me that I’m stupid. Usually, I get emails telling me how big a whore I am. This has been a nice change. Unfortunately for these new emailers, I’m more a of whore than stupid.

But, these retards emailing me gave me a great idea. Yes, I turned negativity into something positive. Yay for me. I’m going to have a regular feature on this here blog that will showcase what my nerdy obsession is and I’ll discuss it.

Now, the retards may need their dictionaries for this since I’ve been known to obsess about James Joyce, Foucault, the Roman Republic and subsequent Empire, the mythologies and world religions, Women’s Studies and History with special attention paid to how religion and religious leader’s have used ‘God’ as a means of propaganda on waging war against women from the beginning of time until present day, etc….there isn’t enough time to for me to write all of my obsessions in this post.

Right now I’m rereading ‘The History of Sexuality‘ by Michel Foucault (all three volumes). I believe I’ll write my first post for this feature about his theory on how power has played a crucial role in how we use or misuse pleasure in society. He focuses most of his theories on Victorian society, but doesn’t exclude all history in what he writes.

I may also discuss how important it is to read books like, “Who Cooked the Last Supper?” to get an insight on women’s history of the world. So many books focus on what men did and how it affected other men. We may have stories of the paragons of virtue and whores who have influenced some of our history, I like to know what happened to the other women who shape the society and politics that now influence our lives. I want to know about women like me. And this book is a great place to start.

I may also talk about (and tease you a bit now) one of the most brilliant collections of letters about relationships between men and women, Letters of Abelard and Heloise. Abelard was Heloise’s teacher whom she had an affair with and secretly married. Right after they married and the birth of their son, Heloise’s uncle (her ward) found out about the affair and raged over it. In his rage he had Abelard castrated. Heloise still wanted to remain his wife, but Abelard pushed her away and became a monk. Heloise became a nun and later an abbess. Their letters are a debate on theology, philosophy, and marriage. One of the greatest quotes I’ve ever read came out of one of Heloise’s letters. This quote was from a letter written by Heloise, a woman living as a nun in an abbey in the 12th century:

“You know, beloved, as the whole world knows, how much I have lost in you, how at one wretched stroke of fortune that supreme act of flagrant treachery robbed me of my very self in robbing me of you; and how my sorrow for my loss is nothing compared with what I feel for the manner in which I lost you. Surely the greater the cause for grief the greater the need for the help of consolation, and this no one can bring but you; you are the sole cause of my sorrow, and you alone can grant me the grace of consolation. You alone have the power to make me sad, to bring me happiness or comfort; you alone have so great a debt to repay me, particularly now when I have carried out all of your orders so implicitly that when I was powerless to oppose you in anything, I found strength to say–my love rose to such heights of madness that it robbed itself of what it most desired beyond hope of recovery, when immediately at your bidding I changed my clothing along with my mind, in order to prove you the sole possessor of my body and my will alike. God knows I never sought anything in you except yourself; I wanted simply you, nothing of yours. I looked for no marriage-bond, no marriage portion, and it was not my own pleasures and wishes I sough to gratify, as you well know, but yours. The name of wife may seem more sacred or more binding, but sweeter for me will always be the word mistress, or, if you will permit me, that of concubine or whore. I believed that the more I humbled myself on your account, the more gratitude I should win from you, and also the less damage I should do to the brightness of your reputation.”

Anyhow, enough with this stuff.

I’m still sick. I took the last two days off from work and I’m so fucking bored I’m going out of my mind. I’ve avoided looking in the mirror since the last time I looked made me sicker. I just want to feel better. I’m sick of eating toast and soup.

Sorry for the lame, full of my own importance post. I really don’t take myself that seriously. Truly.

It should be a pretty good night. They have a behind the scenes look at What Not to Wear on and then Stacy London has her own talk show. I fucking love her. Yes, I’m a sad sad thing. What of it?

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