Archive for the ‘Starfuckers and whores = celebrity’ Category

  • Sting is performing and I can’t stop watching his mouth. I think I came just by watching him. Hmmm.
  • Loved the Dixie Chicks. Love that song.
  • Beyonce’s voice hurts my ears. I like exactly 3 songs of hers and the song she just sang killed me.
  • I think Fergie is very unattractive and I don’t think it’s because of nature. Sweetheart, you need to fire the person who does your makeup.
  • Justine Timberlake is alright by me. He could have played that Sexy Back song, but instead he sang a good song. And he showed that he can play an instrument, which impresses me. It proves he’s not some studio creation that can just dance and look cute. I’m starting to get past the orgasm faces he makes when he sings. It used to bother me a lot. I could do without the extreme closeups. I don’t need to look up your nostrals. That’s kind of gross.
  • I think Pink is sexy as hell.
  • It’s Mary J’s night. I have loved her for years. Real Love was my song.
  • Corinne Bailey Rae has the voice of an angel. I love her. I like John Legend too. He’s got a lovely voice, so soothing. And then they have to ruin it with John Mayer and his orgasm faces and his “I’m so sensitive, yet I’m banging Jessica Simpson….yeah, I’m so deep” ass. I’m not buying it, John. I had to turn the TV off for a minute. He needs a fucking haircut. The only good thing he ever did was appear on the Chappelle Show.
  • I have never heard one song from the Pussycat Dolls. Who the fuck are they?
  • John Mayer just won a fucking award. Now, we have to hear him talk. His acceptance speech should be this, “I want to thank god for making Jessica Simpson so dumb that she doesn’t realize how boring I am. I would have never gotten any of that ass otherwise.”
  • Shakira is so hot, I’d fuck her. And I loved her hair like that. And Wyclef, you know I love him.
  • Who put those glasses on Burt Bacharach? They should be fired.
  • Gnarls Barkley is fucking awesome. I love that song. So different from most shit that’s popular now.
  • The Roots should win all Rap awards.
  • Mary J is the shit.
  • Who knew Mandy Moore was so tall?
  • Willie Nelson makes me happy.
  • Who was the tool singing Hotel California? He wouldn’t have made American Idol had he tried out. What a horrible singer. Carrie Underwood did okay by Desperado, which is good because it’s one of my favorite songs.
  • I like Imogen Heap, but why did she would put a houseplant in her hair? And why was she up for Best New Artist? She’s been around for a decade.
  • Smokey Robinson sounds great, but his face is scaring me. Just say no to Botox. Lionel Richie is singing Hello. All I can think about when I hear that song is the video where he was stalking the blind chick who was doing a sculpter of him. As if, Lionel. Why is the 17 year old shit dressed like he’s ready to commit a felony? Chris Brown? I’ve never heard this song before or seen this kid before. He’s like a Britney, except he’s black and a boy. Other than that, just filled with this new mediocry that everyone seems to be okay with.
  • Christina Aguilera just sang “It’s a Man’s World” like it was her song to begin with. James is proud of you, sweetie. This woman can sing. I don’t care what category she got lumped into when she was young. She will only get better with age.
  • Mary J and Ludacris were okay. Not my favorite of the night, but what do I know? I’m on my couch in my jammies.
  • James Blunt irritates me. Another man who probably cries real easy. I have a bigger dick than he does.
  • What’s up with Justin and that contest winner singing one of my favorite songs, Bill Withers “Ain’t No Sunshine“. Nice. The other song was really good too. That girl did great. I would have been so nervous.
  • Quentin Tarantino scares me. He looks like he would have some body parts in the freezer. He was super annoying. Poor Tony.
  • Yay, Dixie Chicks.
  • Anthony Kedis, thank you for growing your hair long again. Because I believe the short hair affected your music in a negative way. The Red Hot Chili Peppers are still one of the best bands around today.
  • Al Gore looks tubby.
  • I want to fuck Anthony Kedis. That sexy bitch.
  • Sorry, I had to say that.
  • Why wasn’t Tool nominated for best Rock album? Are they not rock? I know that they wouldn’t have shown up or cared, but at least they may have knocked that John Mayer cunt out of the race for that category.
  • I think there are too many categories.
  • Album of the Year….Dixie Chicks. I’m okay with that.

I’m going to bed. Don’t expect me to ever do this again. If I’m ever this bored, I may have to drink myself into oblivion. But I gotta work tomorrow so no drinky for me. Nothing went on this weekend. I didn’t leave the house. I slept enough to make up for the last two weeks. I needed the sleep.


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I’m watching My Fair Brady right now. Because it makes me happy that I’m not that fucking nuts. Because I can’t believe these people are getting married. Because I like watching disasters.

The saddest thing about this show (apart from me watching it) is that they aired last weeks show just now with a fucking countdown clock in the corner of the screen. So we could get all excited that it was time for their wedding. Yay!!! I clapped when it was time. Wankers.

And before I close this post, let me show you the face that will haunt my dreams for the next week or so. She was a fucking guest. This woman is absolutely hideous looking.

Other than watching completely obnoxious and awful TV tonight, my weekend has been a bust. Had a migraine for most of it and that’s about it.

UPDATE: I can’t watch it anymore. I’ve never seen two people so unfit for a relationship, let alone a marriage. He is emotionally controlling, attacking her constantly about stupid things to make her feel inferior and she lets him (because let’s face it, she’s not the brightest person alive).

I was switching from that horrendous TV show to one on TLC about Primordial Dwarfism. It was about a little girl named Kenadie and my heart has grown tenfold and I am a better person because of this angel’s smile. TLC is notorious for replaying their shows, so catch it if you can. You won’t be sorry.

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