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Archive for the ‘Stella Marie’ Category

Last Sunday, we had huge storms come through.  I recorded my latest podcast during the storms.  Apparently, my downstairs neighbors let their cat, Tigger, out in between storms because when I got home from work on Monday they were frantically yelling for him.  I have some very strong opinions about people who let their pets run around the neighborhood—they shouldn’t.  Tigger doesn’t wear a collar.  He’s an alley cat, so he’s always howling to get outside.  I’m used to seeing him around the yard, having given up on trying to talk my neighbor into keeping him inside.

On Wednesday, I asked about the cat and they still hadn’t found him.  The neighbors had gone door to door, visited the local animal shelter, and even went to the police station with no success.  They were scared he was stuck somewhere, locked in someone’s garage or basement.  On Friday night, I was coming home from a ridiculous evening at my father’s when Jim, my guy neighbor, stopped me to tell me that they found Tigger.  He was dead under their back patio.  It looks like he died from natural causes, he was just curled up with no trauma or anything.  Jim had to rip up the planks of wood on the patio to get him out.  I visited the little guy’s grave today and said bye.

Seriously, I’m sick of death.  Not one more this year, at least, or I’m going to freak the fuck out.

Other than the evening at my dad’s and his house full of people who don’t fucking work and are half retarded, ohhhh I’ll have to write a whole other post to explain that shit, I’ve had a beautifully silent weekend.  I did things at my leisure, laundry and grocery shopping, with no one bothering me and calling me at all hours.  I watched movies, surprising myself by enjoying Enchanted and Penelope way more than I thought I would.  I also read all weekend.  It was awesome.

The kittens are driving me crazy.  Hayden wants to party all the time and Nina isn’t happy unless she’s laying on me.  And I’m not allowed to walk around without Nina under my feet.  I’m afraid I’m going to hurt her because I’m tripping over her so much.  Hayden keeps biting my feet and Nina keeps chewing my laptop while I’m typing this.  They’re driving me crazy.  They are sooooo lucky I love them. Roslin and Stella are still awesome and well-behaved.

And finally, fuck you Warner Bros.  Seriously.  What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Thinking.  How dare you move Harry Potter back 8 months.  You greedy fuckers.  Really.  You blame it on the writer’s strike, but the movie finished shooting months ago.  This is seriously rude.  The movie better be the best one yet or I will put a curse on your whole studio.  You assholes.

Yes, that last paragraph demonstrates how little of a life I have and yet I don’t care.  I’m pissed.  I had a whole Harry Potter weekend planned with my nephew and I had to call him and tell him that we have to wait not 3 months, but almost a year.

Oh, and I chopped my hair off.  Think Ashley Judd’s hair in Someone Like You.

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It’s been a dreary weekend.  I can’t remember a drearier weekend.

Today is day 3 of a 4 day weekend and I can finally say that I don’t have anywhere to go or anything to do tomorrow.  Lately, I’m more of a homebody than usual.

I get into moods where I just want to savor my alone time.  I read and listen to music and go for walks.  But this weekend has been spent at various homes of family and friends.  All I’ve wanted to do is come home and read.

I’m reading the whole Harry Potter series right now.  I’m on Chamber of Secrets at the moment.  Is it sad that I’d rather continue my reading than go out?  Maybe I just need to escape life for a while.  So much has happened the past few months and reading these books is a great way to forget about it.

The kitties are doing well.  Hayden is an absolute sweetheart who cries when he wants to be held and during those times, I can walk around my apartment doing chores and he’s as happy as a clam in my arms.  Nina follows me everywhere.  EVERYWHERE.  Roslin keeps her eye on the babies and me.  Stella is warming up to them, but is still acting quite possessive of me.

Ridiculous how complex cats are sometimes.

I saw my neighbor, Jim, naked again tonight.  What’s up with him skinny-dipping in the daylight?  I’m starting to think he wants me to see him since he knows I’m always in my office which overlooks the pool.

The old lady next door to me almost killed me driving to lunch yesterday.  She ran a red light.  Luckily, cars missed us but she seemed so unconcerned about what she did that I’m starting to question her sanity a bit.  She has a fish pond in her backyard and she accidentally killed all of the fish in it because she forgot to put the solution that kills bleach in the water.  She’s still sending money to Nigeria.  I just don’t know what to do with her.

My niece is coming home from the hospital this week.  My sister is excited.  My dad was granted full custody, so all is well there.

Nina just plopped down on the couch next to me, let out a sigh, and farted.  Kitty farts smell bad.

I counted my houseplants tonight and I have 14 of them.  No wonder it takes me a half hour to water them.

Tomorrow I officially start training for the marathon.  Yikes.  I’ll be running and doing yoga 5-6 days a week.  My ass should be magnificent after this.

Nina just moved closer to me.

My allergies are insane today.  Totally and horrible insane.  If I sneeze one more time, I’m going to lose it.

Okay, I’m rambling…so I’ll go.  Toodles.

Oops, Nina is now laying against me.  Little angel.

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See that picture up there. Yeah, take a good look. See those black statues around the base. Well the other day I was walking out of work and I thought, for a nanosecond, that they were giant flying monkeys. I’m dead serious.

I know, I know. That’s the kind of crazy that is only reserved for…well, the crazy. But, in my defense, I had worked really hard that day and was kind of tired. Still, flying monkeys is nuts. My heart actually skipped a beat in fear. Yes, but only for a nanosecond.

Well, my younger sister (the one who just had a baby) almost lost her baby because her mother called child protective services. Her mother, the prostitute and drug addict and my abusive ex-stepmother, tried to get her daughter’s child taken away because her daughter is addicted to drugs. We find out that my sister, her daughter, is addicted to drugs because her mother is a sick bitch who pressures her own children to take drugs or else she does things like try to get their kids taken away.

Seriously, the reason for her calling to have the baby taken was because my sister moved in with my dad to get away from her. Thank goodness my dad is a cop. He was able to talk to the case manager and now has temporary custody of the baby until my sister gets out of rehab. She’s going away for 6 months to a facility that she can’t sign herself out of. Only my dad can sign her out per a court order the case manager obtained. Best news ever. The baby is still in the hospital and is coming home next week sometime.

Oh, and my sister is also getting a restraining order on her mother.

Ugh.

One of my babies was sick yesterday. Little Nina was vomiting and squirting the whole day. Baby girl was so upset. Thankfully, I don’t get grossed out easily. I made her drink lots of water and after a few hours of wondering what the hell was going on, it dawned on me that the kittens were eating Stella’s Fancy Feast (Stella won’t eat any other food…I’ve tried). I think the food was too rich for her belly. I got her eating kitten food and she’s been right as rain since.

But, I was scared for a few hours. She’s tiny and only 8 weeks old.

Even more scared than when I saw the giant flying monkeys.

And finally, hold onto your asses…because this is fucking cute. Roslin thinks she thinks she’s the mommy. And Nina and Hayden are going right along with it. Stella Marie is still pissed.*

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*My friend Jason has sympathized with Stella Marie and asked me, “What if one day Stella Marie came home with 3 Debbies? How would you feel?” Point taken. Poor Stella Marie. But she’ll eventually get over it.

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That title is really really really long, huh?

I have a lot to say, so I’m going to list it to make it easier on me poor addled sleep-deprived brain.  And it ain’t going to be in the order of the title either. 

  1. Why did I get two kittens?  What are their stories?  Why was I even considering getting 1 kitten when I had two fiercely gorgeous bitches at home?  Because I’m a sucker for a sad story and cuteness, that’s why.  The woman, Bobbie, who had given me Roslin, called me 3 weeks ago in a tizzy, telling me that Roslin’s mother had given birth to a litter in her (Bobbie) neighbor’s lawn mower bag.  Bobbie and the neighbor got the kittens and mommy cat situated in a box on Bobbie’s porch.  All seemed well, until that afternoon.  Her town was having a block party and the motorcycles spooked the mommy cat.  She took one of her babies with her and left the other 3.  If you recall, Roslin and her litter mates were abandoned by the same mommy.  Apparently, she’s extremely skittish.*  Hayden was one of the three abandoned by mommy, Nina was the one kitten that the mommy took.  So, Hayden has been hand-fed since day 1.  Bobbie found Nina walking around the backyard last week and brought her in the house.  When I got there, I was coming for only Hayden.  I wanted a boy cat and Bobbie was holding him for me.  But, then I saw him cuddling with Nina.  She looked up at me and I gasped.  Bobbie told me that she had homes for all of the other kittens, but not for Nina.  I just didn’t think and said, “I’ll take both of the babies.”  And that’s how I became a crazy fucking cat lady.  If someone told me a few years ago that I would have this many animals, I would have laughed in their face.  Damn.
  2. And why aren’t people who have multiple dogs mocked and labeled?  I know a lady with 6 dogs and nobody calls her crazy.  Just sayin.
  3. I have to clean my office.  Bad.  You can’t see the top of my desk because of all of the junk in there.  I’m sure nobody cares that I need to clean my office, but writing it hear seems like a promise to myself.  It’s written down, so now I must do it.  Or something like that.  I’m sure I’ll put it off another week or two.
  4. I think I’m going to start recording podcasts again.  They were fun and maybe I can talk some of my friends and family members to be guests.  I’ll talk my sister into it tonight.  Now, if only I could remember how to post the podcasts…
  5. Oh, and I found a webcam in my desk drawer.  How long have I had it…who the hell knows?  I’m not even sure if it’s a good one.  It’s probably one of those webcams that has a delay by a second or ten and the playback is like watching a record skip.  And the audio is out of time with the visual.  I’ll have to check it out.  Maybe I can show you how big of a bitch Stella Marie is.
  6. Oh, Stella Marie.  She is pissed.  I mean, PISSED!!!!!!!!!!  She is all like, “What the fuck is in that bathroom moving around? Why must you do this to me?  I am a spoiled brat and don’t want to share you with anyone?  It’s bad enough you brought that pain in the ass Roslin home…two more?  Bitch, I will claw you until you scream.”  Roslin is so scared of Stella that I had to accompany her to use the litter box.  Yes, I had to stand there while she pooped and Stella hissed like a fucking mental case.  And let’s not even talk about my lack of sleep because of Stella Marie’s hissing, spitting, yowling, growling, and screaming.  Such. A. Drama. Queen.  I told her yesterday that she might as well get all of that foolishness out of her system right now, because the kitties are staying.  She turned her back to me and walked away growling.  She had dingle-berries on her butt, so that kind of diminished her haughtiness.  Of course, I had to cut them out.  So, I guess in some strange way she won that argument.  She certainly wasn’t wiping my ass.
  7. I have to cook cook cook for my mother’s party tomorrow.  She graduated from college, yay, and we’re throwing a gigantic party.  I hate the prep, but it’s so worth it in the end.  It should be a great time.  I’ll try to take some pictures.  All of my stinkies (Morgan, Connor, Rylee, and Colin) will be there. 
  8. Morgan wants a kitten and is coming to visit me today to see my babies.  My sister-in-law promised that if Morgan made the principle’s list she would be able to get a kitten.  She already told me that she’d name that kitten Keira or Zoe.  I asked her, “What if it’s a boy?”  She cocked her head and gave me a raised brow, “Aunt Debbie, I don’t want a boy cat.  How can I have a secret club for girls and have a boy cat?”  Makes perfect sense.
  9. Blog Drama.  Or better yet, Blogworld Drama or whatever you want to call it.  I’ve read about 5 posts in the past day dealing with it and I’m like, what the hell, and creeped out.  Does anyone take this blog shit (or life!) that seriously?  I mean, come on people.  It’s the one way you can be sure I will lose my interest in your blog, write about blog drama or posts dedicated to haters or whatever.  I used to do that and then I realized that it was retarded.  So retarded.  I have haters and I don’t give a shit if they come to my blog 100 times a day.  Happy reading to all, even the people who hate me.  Maybe that’s why my blog isn’t as popular as it used to be.  I don’t care about the blogdrama crap and I’m certainly not signing up for that club.  It’s so tedious and middle school and I have better things to do, like clean my office or learn ninja moves or poopy-scoop 4 litter boxes or masturbate or clean my bellybutton.  When I read a blog, I want to hear about a person’s days or thoughts on politics or how good he/she were fucked the night before or some creative stories or something that challenges my believe system and makes me go and learn something new…that type of shit.  Who buys into this form of Blogs of Our Lives bullshit?  It’s kind of disturbing.  Stop it.  Stop writing about it.  You’ll be happier.
  10. I just realized that my whole family will be at my mom’s tomorrow for the party.  Oy vey. 

*Mommy cat was fixed last week, thankfully.

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What a fucking week. Or two weeks. Or something like that.

I feel like I’ve lived ten lives from then until now.

This past weekend was filled with fun, not really. Two baby showers, an emergency vet visit, running retarded errands for my dad, picking up things like baby shower cakes, and generally losing my mind.

Friday night, I accompanied the old lady next door to Trader Joe’s. She seemed quite agitated and was driving like a nut. I found myself bracing for an accident several times. She always insists on driving and this time was terrible. She was going so fast, I kept asking her what was wrong and she told me nothing. We were in Trader Joe’s for about 10 minutes. She wanted to get in and get out. We then stopped at Boscov’s and I started to get annoyed. First she looked at furnature, next she looked at bedding. Taking her own sweet time. I was so damn tired. I could hardly pay attention to anything. All I wanted to do is go home.

I finally got back around 9, exhausted and stressed out from the crazy driving. I had trouble falling asleep because I kept thinking about my horribly busy weekend and how I wouldn’t have a moment to myself.

The first baby shower was on Saturday. It was for my great-aunt’s grand-daughter’s baby. Yeah, a little distant. My mom is very close to this aunt, so I went. I hate baby showers. Did I ever mention this? Hate them.

I got to see some of my more loser’ish relatives. Like my second cousin, Linda, who has been in and out of mental health hospitals and rehab clinics for years. She tried to kill her mother a few years ago. Stabbed her. She doesn’t have a tooth in her mouth and wasn’t wearing a bra, so her tits were at her stomach. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them. Ding dong ding dong they went. And she brought her mother to the shower. Her mother, my great-aunt, is 80 and she can hardly walk. Linda didn’t even make sure her mother’s hair was combed or that her mother was bathed. My aunt smelled and it upset me. Not that my aunt is a stellar person. Her second husband molested all of her children and she knew about it. He then molested all of her grandchildren and she knew about that too. She actually defended him for years. She’s also very mean to the family. So, I guess she’s getting hers. I just hate when old people aren’t taken care of no matter how rotten their souls are.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. I was late for the shower because I had to take Stella Marie to the vet for a butt issue. She had been scooting on the rug and licking her poopy (my word for my kitty’s ass) for a couple days and when I checked it out on Friday morning, it was horribly red and inflamed. To vet we go. My appointment was at 11:30 AM and I didn’t see the doctor until 1 PM. Apparently there was an emergency surgery being performed. A boxer ate a pair of g-string underwear. I guess we should listen to our mothers and put our underwear in the hamper, huh?

So, back to Stella. The doctor informs me that Stella needs her anal glands drained and a rectal exam. They take her in the back and the next thing I hear is my Stella Marie screaming. After about 10 minutes, the vet tech brings my poor kitty back in the room. Poor Stella looked harrassed and pissed off. The doctor came in and said that one of her glands was as hard as wax, but she drained it and that she should feel better soon. They shaved her ass and that’s why she was screaming. They sent me home with some powder to squirt on her poopy. That’s a fun time. I have to follow her around and catch her with her tail up, then squirt. I can’t describe what a joy it is.

After the shower, I had to pick up my dad’s girlfriend. Yes, he has a new girlfriend. Don’t get me started on this topic. Why can’t he find someone normal? He’s always picking these woman with mammoth problems. I don’t have the energy to comment on it right now. As I’m driving the girlfriend, who smells like stale cigarettes and perfume, my dad keeps calling me over and over again. What the fuck, right? It got to the point where I was yelling at him. They changed the law regarding driving and talking on cell phones in NJ. You can get pulled over and ticketed if the cops see you driving while on the phone. You can use hands-free, but I don’t have one yet. My dad is a cop…he knows I’m fucking driving and that I don’t have hands-free, and he keeps calling me. I truly believe I almost had an aneurysm from my annoyance. I got to his house and he says, “I just wanted to make sure you picked up my precious cargo.” I guess he meant the girlfriend because he was pointing at her. No, not me, the fruit of his loins…his fucking new girlfriend. Let’s change the subject.

Sunday was my little sister’s baby shower. She looks absolutely adorable. The shower was very nice and I didn’t know anyone but my sisters, my ex-stepmother, my mom, my dad, and my dad’s girlfriend. My ex-stepmother had no idea what she was doing, so my sister and I took over. She got some nice gifts and I’m really excited for my niece to come into the world.

So, that was my weekend.

A few things I’m thinking about right now:

  1. Ewan McGregor is my fantasy right now. He’s just dreamy.
  2. I just realized how long it’s been since I’ve had sex. Bummer.
  3. I think I may have a hairline fracture in my heel. It’s been killing me for over a month now and running isn’t really helping it. Duh.

Update: I just reread that post and holy shit…I wrote like a retard. I’m sorry for all of the typos and stuff. I was watching TV and trying to write at the same time. This is something I obviously can’t do.

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Well, I suppose it’s only fair that I tell you the reason for posting those lyrics. It’s not what you think. Not even close.

You see, and I’m going for the abbreviated version because I’m so fucking pissed, a friend of a friend of a friend took something I wrote in an email the wrong way. A bunch of my friends were emailing each other to pass the day and he was part of it. Soooo, I replied to something he wrote and he decided I was in love with him.

Yeah, let that one wash over you.

Talk about thinking highly of oneself, huh?

Apparently, he thinks that all of the times I’ve been in his presence I’ve been in total awe of him. I’ve only seen him a few times. He has been to a few dinners, but I’ve never really given him much thought.

Until last week.

I can’t imagine how one could think someone is in love with them over one smartass email I sent. Maybe he forgot that he wasn’t the only one receiving that email.

He then started emailing and texting my friend about me. How he would date me, but it will never be love. This all ended with him emailing me the lyrics to that song, I’m Not In Love, and a stupid ass email about my love for him.

I ended up giving him a piece of my mind on Monday night. So much drama. I’m not even interested in talking about it anymore. Why does this shit happen to me? Where are the normal people?

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Stella’s eye is acting up again. I put a call in to the vet tonight and I have an appointment for tomorrow morning. They want to run some tests and give her a shot of antibiotics. This shit is seriously driving me insane. I don’t have the kind of money to keep sending her to the vet every 2 weeks. This will be my 4th appointment in 6 weeks for the same fucking thing. Oy!

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You’ll notice that I took down the blog to help that homeless woman and her dogs. We can’t find the woman. I found out she’s out of her mind on drugs and that she’s using the dogs for sympathy. I’ve spoken with several police officers who know her and they said that if anything happens to her, they know of several people willing to take the dogs.

I feel like a real fool for getting sucked in the way I did. I should have known better. But, I just wanted to help her. We did help her and the dogs though. We bought food and water and gave her money and clothes. At least that’s something.

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I’ve started plans on starting a vegetable garden in my backyard next year. I think if I grow my own vegetables I’ll feel better. Like I’m using the earth for something. I know I’m a dork. I also joined a nature club in my area. I’m really excited about going on some nature walks. We have a huge bird population here, that’s right…New Jersey, and I want to see as much as I can. I love birds of prey, so it would be cool to see some hawks or eagles.

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I took two laxative tablets tonight. I haven’t had a good poop since Saturday. It’s just not right. I usually poop twice a day, at least. So, I’m not feeling like myself. I need to have a day of pooping. Seriously. A whole day. I’m backed up and it ain’t good.

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Ann Coulter said the following….

“If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women. It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it’s the party of women and ‘We’ll pay for health care and tuition and day care — and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?’”

I hate this woman. Seriously. I want to know what the fuck happens to you as a human being to make you hate your own kind so much. If she was lying in an alley being gang-raped by sadistic serial killers, I would have to pause to contemplate helping her or not. I probably would because I’m the type of woman who would love to have a little piece of shit like her in my debt. Hmmm, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Ann, you have scorned me. You have given those uptight rich masogonist white men you are on your knees serving. You don’t deserve your uterus, clitoris, or tits. It’s not womankind’s fault your face looks like a dirty dried up cunt. I have proof, see below.

Sorry…you know, I was going to put a picture of her on here, but I don’t want her gangbanged looking face on here.

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I’m out. Cross your fingers that I have a good day of pooping. And I hope never to write a sentence like that again.

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There’s no radio show tonight. I’m not feeling the radio show right now. I might do it every other week or something. Who knows?

So much to talk about and I have no idea where to start?

On Saturday, my sister told me her husband said he didn’t love her anymore. He said that they have no marriage because they don’t have sex. He thinks that sex is 95% of what a marriage is. He told her that my mother doesn’t really care about her and that my sister is jealous of his relationship with his mother. I want to kick him in the balls. I want to give him a rectal exam with his toothbrush and then make him use it. I want to rip his eye socket out and piss in the hole.

I hate him.

Look on this blog and you will see examples of his being a complete fucking prick. A big prick without a prick. I’m trying to get her a job with my company so that her move back home isn’t so stressful. Right now, they’re going to try counseling. I don’t think it will work (which is why I’m trying to get her a job here), but I’ll just sit back and be supportive. It’s all I can do.

Speaking of assholes, Mullet Man has gotten a restraining order on his ass for threatening my downstairs neighbor, Barb, and her new man. Oh, and for taking shit out of the yard and breaking it. Oh, and for coming over unannounced. Oh oh, and for coming in the house and dumping out the new man’s dresser drawers and closet and screaming at Barb. The police were called and his ass is grass. I was told to call 911 if I see him around here. Drama drama drama.

Oh there’s more….sit down and stay a while.

My grandmother is having surgery tomorrow to remove infected tissue in her elbow. The infection has moved into her bloodstream, so time is of the essence. My grandmother is in horrible health, so this isn’t a good thing. Fingers crossed.

I’m not even close to being finished yet.

I have broken out in a mysterious rash again. Allergic reaction to something. Am I allergic to the world? I took some Benedryl and have rubbed disgusting hydrocortisone ointment on my legs. I hope it eases my skin. I’m severely allergic to mold and I think I’m having a reaction to being in my friend’s house. She’s disgustingly filthy. I could feel the mold. Why did I stay there for as long as I did? I may need to call the doctor is I don’t feel better.

Ready for more? I’m only getting warmed up.

Stella Marie’s eye was completely better. Or so I thought. Monday night, I noticed it looking a bit wonky. I called the vet and they said to start smearing the ointment on her eye again. I did that and last night her other eye started looking bad. Yep. Conjunctivitis in both eyes. So much fun.

I took her to the vet tonight, third Wednesday in a row, and the vet gave me stronger ointment and more pills. Hopefully this works. I’m worried sick.

Oh, another $75 too. I may need to start collecting donations for my own babies. It’s only a matter of time before Roslin gets conjunctivitis. It’s highly contagious.

Are you ready for more?

While I was at the vet tonight, about 20 minutes, my neighbor in the house behind me shot himself. I was driving down the main street and saw every cop car in our town at his house along with 2 ambulances.

BJ, the old lady next door, told me that she was over at Al’s house for dinner at 7 and left around 7:30. Right after she left another neighbor, Judy, heard Al and his wife arguing very loudly and violently. When Judy got up to see what was going on she heard a big bang. Al’s wife was taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

Yeah, I know. Crazy.

That’s all for now. Unless, a comet lands on the house.

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