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Hello all. Did you vote? I did at 6:10 AM this morning.

Well, I have some sad news. There’s a guy who works in our cafeteria named Kevin. He went missing last week. Everyone was looking for him and worried. With good reason it turns out. He was mugged sometimes last week, beaten to within an inch of his life, and is now in a coma at one of our hospitals. He was originally admitted as a John Doe, but after his relatives contacted the police he was able to be identified. This is bothering me. How do you beat someone that bad? I don’t understand. What has happened to you that you have that much rage inside of you to beat someone until they are in a coma? I’ve always held to the notion that at least being shot is impersonal. There is something very personal about someone putting their hands on you and hitting you until you’re unconscious and then beyond. It’s like you want to kill their soul too. Anyhow, could you all do me a favor and pray/chant/light candles/whatever for Kevin? He’s a really nice guy who always said hello to everyone every morning and who many people miss.

Onto more cheery news. That guy Dave called. He seemed nice enough. I’m not sure if it’s going to work out. Here are big red lights and alarms to me.

  1. He’s two years younger than me. I seem to have more life experience (not because I’m older) than him. He seems quite green.
  2. He lives with his parents and doesn’t have a job.
  3. He’s a full-time grad student. Studying Library Science.
  4. He doesn’t enjoy food that much. Said, “Eating is something that I do quickly to get it out of the way.” Um….you all know how I feel about food. And if you don’t savor the pleasure that is food, how can I be convinced that you will savor me? I’m big on the food/sex comparisons.
  5. He’s not into cats. He actually said, “Oh, you like cats? I don’t.” How could I be with someone who didn’t like Stella Marie. Um, yeah. Next!!!

The Pilot isn’t back yet. Haven’t heard from him in about a week.

Heroes is still kicking ass. No show has held my attention and intrigue like this since the X-Files. Yeah, I’m a dork but I love a good television mindfuck which I think is exactly what’s happening with Heroes if the previews for next weeks show are anything to go by. Oh, I could discuss this show for hours. Who are the bad guys? Who else is special? What does the serial killer have to do with everyone? When do they all come together? “Save the cheerleader save the world”….love it.

Neil Patrick Harris has announced that he was gay. Is it just me or does this make his performance in Harold and Kumar even funnier?

UPDATE: Ummmm, I heard from the Pilot tonight. He just got back, read my blog, and is actully pissed about me talking to that Dave guy. Wow. He’s even more upset that people are making him such a villain on here. He commented, but I deleted it because it’s just too personal to have him on here being part of this. The Pilot is mine and I’m not ready to share him with you yet.

That guy that has been calling me a hundred times a day left 8 messages on my home answering machine today. 8 messages. Can we say psycho? I just don’t understand people. I know I say that all of the time, but I don’t. I haven’t heard or seen this guy in over a year so why is he so keen on talking to me now. It’s not like he says it’s an emergency or anything. He keeps asking me why I’m avoiding him. Let me see…..um, cause you’re crazy. Sheesh, we didn’t even date that long and it wasn’t anything mindblowing or amazing. It was a boring fling. I emailed him yet again to leave me alone and copied my father on it. This should scare the fuck out of him.

I’m going to bed now. I’m exhausted. I’m still worried about Kevin. I’ve been thinking about him so much. I hope he pulls through and isn’t brain damaged or disabled because of some fuckers who don’t respect human life enough to just rob a man and let him be. Makes my stomach hurt to think about it.

I’m not feeling the “How to be Invisible” story any longer. I have tried, but so much has happened since I started writing it and now that I’ve lost my train of thought and I don’t know if I can get it back. I need some magic.

My sister and mother are doing very well. I wanted to again express my gratitude and appreciation for all of your prayers and emails about them. I means so much to me and I share the emails with them and they have been touched by you all. You are all good people.

Nighty night.

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Eh.

Is it awful that I didn’t go on that date tonight and I didn’t call or email the guy to tell him that I wouldn’t be there?

I just didn’t want to go. He’s not what I want. And he didn’t give me any call to confirm that we were still meeting up tonight but that’s probably because like a fucking dumbshit I gave him this blog address. I’m sure he read about how I don’t want to date right now. So, if you’re him and you’re reading this—I’m really sorry. I’m an ass.

I’m kind of pissed off at myself for creating another blog to use an outlet for my personal thoughts because that is what this blog was supposed to be. I don’t feel like I’m being fair to all of you. And I know that I don’t get paid for this shit, but I honestly feel some sort of obligation to you all. I’m so fucking flattered and honored that you take the time to read this that yes, I’m committed to making this worth your while. I may give up the new blog, I’m not sure yet. I’ll keep you all posted.

I miss someone so much and I can’t say anything. Not that the person would listen or give me the time of day, but I’ve been missing/pining for months. A part of me thinks I fucked up and a part of me thinks I did the right thing. Eh.

I went to the laundry mat tonight because I haven’t been able to wash my clothes at my house for over 3 weeks. Let’s just say that my neighbors aren’t really cooperating with me in this regard. So, as I was reading a magazine and waiting for the washers to finish with my clothes I hear yelling. There is a woman standing on the other side of the room and she’s pissed. Apparently another woman took her clothes out of one of the dryers and laid them on a table. I really thought they were going to fight. That would have been something if they did. But they didn’t fight. They just yelled a lot. And then the one woman looked over at me and said, “What are you looking at?” I just raised my eyebrow. Bitch please, come up with something more intimidating than that shit. Like her little ass was scaring me. I was tired, annoyed that I was in the laundry anyway, and perplexed as to why this woman was angry someone took her clothes out of the dryer as she admitted to leaving them in there for a couple of hours. After trying to act tough few more minutes she left with her wrinkled cheap clothing. I swear something odd happens everytime I use a laundry mat. The last time I caught a guy peaking in the washer looking at my panties. Ew!

It’s 10 PM and I’m going to bed now. I know it’s Friday night but I’m bushed. I have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. Eh again!

Tonight is one of those nights when I need to listen to Claire de Lune and snuggle in bed. Goodnight all…

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Well my sweeties, I’m free. I have the next 10 days off. And after all of the work I did to make sure everything was finished before I left, I now need a vacation more than ever.

Today was quite the shitty day. The ass of my jeans got caught on a sharp thingy I was leaning on while riding the train. Ripped a pretty nice hole. Then I had to wait until the stores opened at 10 before buying a new pair. Luckily I had a cardigan at work, so I tied it around my waist. Around 9:30 I knocked half of my coffee on my lap, so now I was wearing ripped and coffee stained jeans. And my new flip-flops were giving my blisters. (By the way, yes I can wear whatever I want to work. I usually dress up because I like being and looking like a girl, but I didn’t give a shit today.)

Went to the Gap and got a new pair of jeans (that they let me wear out of there), a new shirt (because it was cute), and yoga pants (because they were $3). Got back to work 30 minutes later and continued to work myself to the bone. Had sushi for lunch. Came back and finished up with everything. I made sure my journals were perfect for the next week. I got three August issues out the door. Without help. My boss was quite impressed.

So, what am I doing with this time off? I do have some plans, but I really want to relax. Sit in the sun. Take walks. Watch movies. Read. Hang out….whatever I want. It will be glorious.

I’m not sure how much time I’ll have to spend in the blogworld, but I’ll pop in every now and then to say hi. It would be nice to not have to look at a computer for a bit.

Happy 4’th of July!!! I hope everybody has a great time.

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