I have problems saying no to such cuteness…

Meet my new babies.  Yes, I said babies.  I was supposed to get 1, but then I saw the other one and well…they’re mine now.

Meet Hayden (the orange fella) and Nina (the fuzzy tabby).  They are 7 week old siblings from the same momma as Roslin.

Wish me luck.  I can’t believe I have 4 cats.

Oh, and for those of you who know my mom…don’t say anything to her.  Please.  I have to break it to her gently.  She thinks I’m crazy as it is.

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And some random questions…

Some things I don’t understand:

1. Why the old lady next door won’t leave me be for one day? Every weekend, I always want one day to just unwind. I watch the shows I DVR’d (new word!), I read, I nap, and I write. I don’t get out of my jammies and I don’t talk. It’s nice. Or it should be nice. The old lady was yelling up at my window this morning. YELLING UP AT MY WINDOW! That just doesn’t fly with me. I hate people yelling for me anyhow, but I’m in my house…my private sanctuary…and she’s screaming up at me. I was so mad, my stomach was clenching.
2. Why do people still smoke? Tell me why. It is the worst thing you can do to yourself and yet people still do it. It’s not like alcohol, where having a drink a day is actually good for you, smoking will kill you. It will. And I’m an ex-smoker. I don’t even know how I smoked before. I find the behavior disgusting. My favorite smokers are the people that are supposed to be health freaks, work out and eat right, who totally erase all the good they’re doing to their bodies every time they light up. I just don’t get it. I don’t even know how they afford to smoke.  People need to stop smoking.
3. Why aren’t people more angry about our government? I’m not talking about those who complain in private. I want to know where are the protesters? When I really think about it, I don’t think the what’s happening today would have been tolerated in the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. The public didn’t stand for this type of government. They certainly wouldn’t have accepted the gas prices. Where are the fucking protests? Where are the discenting voices? How about we stop taking pharmaceutical drugs, we stop going to doctors who are educated drug dealers with credentials, we stop driving everywhere and get off our fat asses and ride a bike or (gasp!) walk, we stop paying more attention to who Lindsay Lohan is fucking and pay more attention to actual news, we stop allowing our public officials to get away with the corruption and start holding them to the promises they made when they were begging for our votes…does anyone care? I know people are lazy, but fucking hell.  I write to my officials/politicians once a week. I even check to see what my congressman and senator’s attendance records are. It’s interesting to see what they’re doing. And I don’t have any idea if they’re actually reading my emails, but I feel better complaining to those who are actually pissing me off than my friends. Now, I think it’s time the people of this country start getting seriously pissed. The government must be reminded that it works for us. It’s time to wake the fuck up. Stop shopping and watching TV and texting and emailing and dumbing down.  Let’s go.
4. Why are they opening up two Wallmarts near my house? This is destroying me. I hate Wallmart. I don’t shop there, will not shop there, and think that it is an evil company that is the exact opposite of what America is all about. Wallmart is new to my area. For years, there was only one store open about 45 minutes away from me. I was there once. I bought the 7th Harry Potter book there. But, I hated the fact that I bought it there so much I gave the book away and bought it again at a local small bookstore at regular price to appease my conscience. The company destroys small businesses and towns, and I still can’t believe that people actually shop there. I believe in karma and I cannot give my money to a company that is so disgusting. I’ll pay an extra 50 cents for shit. It’s not that deep. I will be so sad if my favorite hardware store and other shops close because of this.
5. Why I can’t say no to animals needing a home? I’m getting another baby. It’s a kitten. He/she is 4 weeks old and I’ll find out the sex when the woman takes the liter to the vet this week. I got Roslin from the same woman. The babies are being handfed, just like Roslin was. Their mommy left them and this woman called me because she just received the picture I sent her of Roslin. I sent the picture because Roslin turned one last Sunday. Well, the woman called me and I said yes and soon I’ll have three cats and that’s it. I’m going to have to seriously start dating or I fear I’ll have to allow everyone to make fun of me for being a cat lady. I wish I could take in all of the homeless animals in the world, but I can’t. I find it very hard to say no to these babies. I love animals. All of them. Even the gross ones. What can I say…deep down I’m a big softie.

That’s all for now. Enjoy some pictures of Roslin over the year.

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A long week ahead of me…

Thank you all for your kind words.  You all mean so damn much to me.  Strange that strangers have such a powerful affect on me.  Strange.

I did do something pretty cool this weekend.  I helped bottle 400 bottles of wine on Saturday.  Friends of the family make their own wine and they made two barrels this year.  What work!!!!  The wine tasted amazing.  It was also nice to get out of my apartment and stop crying for a few hours.

The viewing/funeral is on Wednesday and Thursday in TN.  My mom, stepdad, and I are driving there.  We’re leaving obnoxiously early on Tuesday morning (like 3AM), staying Wednesday and Thursday, and then driving back on Friday.  Ugh.  It’s a 17 hour drive one way.  But, I have to go.  There’s something deep inside of me that needs to be there.

My aunt’s husband told my mom that I was her special girl.  I break apart every time I think of that.

I’m sure I’ll have a good travel story.  I’m taking my journal to write in.

xoxo

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Ugh, this is the worst…

My laptop is really messed up and I have to get it fixed.  I think I have a virus or something.  It’s so bad, that going on the Internet is slower than dial-up.  Like the old dial-up when the Internet was new.  It’s terrible.  I can’t really download anything because it takes hours.  It took me over 3 hours to download a anti-virus program.  And then when I ran the program, my system kept crashing.  My laptop is only a year and a half old. 

Oy vey.  I feel lost without my computer and even more lost for feeling that way.  Must find something else to do, although I already read an enormous amount.  Ugh.

What does this mean for you?  Fewer posts.  I can’t really write at work, so please be patient with me while I get my computer fixed.  I have stuff written for each of the blogs and it will all be posted soon.

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Oh, I’m soooooo back to my normal idiot self

One of my famous numbered lists because it’s old school Fresh Air Lover and because I’m back to my dumb-ass and ridiculous self.

1. Let’s start with Monday. I finally spoke to Mr. Wood (aka Construction worker I’ve been all kinds of crushing on…he’s a carpenter). Don’t get too excited, he sneezed and I said bless you and then he said thanks and I smiled and then he smiled and then we stared at each other for about 20 minutes which is how long the train ride home is and…the end. I’m a smooth operator, don’t be jealous.
2. I moved my desk at work and it’s very nice. Very very nice.
3. I was wearing my favorite pair of pants on Tuesday. They are too big on me now. Everything is too big on me. So, I’m wearing them and I’m in the bathroom looking at the sagging ass of the pants when I notice that my waistband is sticking out. They have a thick waistband with those hook-type thingies instead of buttons. I looked down at this protruding waistband and I had a thought, which is usually bad. My thoughts are often retarded.  I thought it looked like I had a package. You know, package that boys usually (hopefully, you know what I mean) come with.  I shared this with one of my good friends to which she replied, “GET AWAY FROM ME YOU NUT.” Yeah, I’m sorry for that Dawn.
4. I got so irritated by the OxiClean guy on Tuesday night. I just hate his grating, irritating, obnoxious, constipated sounding voice. I believe I raised a fist and yelled, “Shut up you stupid fucker” or something like that when I heard someone clear their throat. Real close to where I was standing. It was the new guy who lives downstairs. He scared the shit out of me. I didn’t hear him come up my steps because I was concentrating intently on telling off the commercial. I also forgot my door was open. It was weird explaining my sad personality and anger issues to someone I don’t know very well. He looked a little weirded out.
5. Period talk, consider yourself warned. I woke up this morning to bad cramps and what looked like a crime scene on my sheets. I haven’t bled like that in a very long time. What was even more terrible is that I was really lightheaded all morning. I feel better now and my flow has backed off, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit concerned.
6. I haven’t seen Mr. Wood since our big conversation on Monday…bless you…and I’m pissed because I’ve dressed up and put some effort into my appearance every day this week. I even had my knee-high leather boots and eyeshadow on today.
7. I could eat a whole baguette right now. This is the stuff I crave during menses. Not chocolate, but bread. With bruschetta. Or guacamole. Or butter. Or plain. Or the Alfredo dipping sauce at the Olive Garden. Ohhhhh, now I really want some bread.

And lastly, I feel like we need some Tool up on this shit.

…I sure could use a vacation from this stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit…Fuck L Ron Hubbard and Fuck all his clones. Fuck all those gun-toting Hip gangster wannabes. Learn to swim. Fuck retro anything. Fuck your tattoos. Fuck all you junkies and Fuck your short memory. Learn to swim. Fuck smiley glad-hands With hidden agendas. Fuck these dysfunctional, Insecure actresses. Learn to swim…

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I ain’t buying no pig

A coworker of mine emailed me this quote today and I thought it was post-worthy.

“For all those men who say, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.”…Andy Rooney

 All of my blogs updated.  You can find the list of my blogs here. 

Yesterday, as I was driving home from my mother’s house, I saw a group of pre-pubescent boys running across the street.  When they got to the other side, one of them fell to the ground and started humping the ground while the other kids clapped and thrust their hips.  I wouldn’t have been surprised if they all had whipped out their little cheese doodles and started a circle jerk, but I don’t think these kids were old enough to get boners yet.  Oh, and this wasn’t a back street.  It was one of the major roads near my house.

I now know what kind of vehicle my Construction Worker drives.  I parked near it in hopes this will open up conversation or something.  My mom, whom I carpool with, is having surgery on Wednesday and will be out of work for 4-5 weeks.  This should allow me to make my move more comfortably.  I told my mom she was the ultimate cock-blocker.  She laughed so hard she cried.  But it’s true.  Who wants to hit on someone with their mom standing right there?

I watched the movie 300 and I just didn’t get it.  It was horrible.  I don’t think I have enough testosterone to enjoy a movie like that.  And did those guys have the 6-pack airbrushed onto their abs, cause it sure looked that way.

There’s a tree near my house that has about 20 hawks in it.  I can’t stop staring at it.  It’s awesome.

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An interesting example of satire

Satire: (noun) 1 : a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn 2 : trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly.

I think this a brilliant piece of social commentary. Click here for a great article about the video. Enjoy.

I’m posting this because, and I know I’ve said this many times before, it saddens me that songs like this (and I’m talking about the Black Eyed Peas version) and women portraying themselves as gold-digging spoiled superficial stupid sluts. These are the role models our girls have. At least Madonna (a role model for my generation) was about owning your own shit and earning your own shit and empowering yourself. Even if she did take her clothes off.

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Proof

Hey everyone. Remember I was telling you all that an ex of mine kept calling my work number repeatedly, even though I’ve asked him to stop.

He’s not stopping. He’s called me 8 times today. I’ve taken pictures of my caller log on my phone to prove it to you all because it’s fucking obnoxious. This is how it’s been for over a week now.

Oh, and I don’t care that you can see his phone number because if he wants to keep harrassing me then everyone I know can fucking have his phone number. I’m done being nice.

He just called again while I’m typing this. 9 times today!!!

Motherfucker.

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Weekend in the sun…UPDATE CAUSE I CAN’T SPELL

It’s Sunday night and I’m so pooped right now that I can’t see straight. Yes, I’m still not sleeping. I’m giving in and taking some Tylenol PM tonight. I have to or I might go crazy.

I’m very sunburnt at the moment. I always burn the first time and then I just get tan. It doesn’t matter if I use 50 sunblock or what. I get dark.

In other news…um wait, there is no other news. Nothing is going on. Here’s what I did this weekend.

Friday night: I’m laughing cause this is a joke. I didn’t do anything Friday night. I watched TV and read. Drank tea. Watched some more TV. Drank tea. Took a bubble bath. Had more tea. That’s about it.

Saturday: Had to make vegetable kabobs for my dad’s father’s day barbacue (we celebrated yesterday because he was going riding on his Harley today–god forbid he miss a day of riding to spend time with his kids). So, I was at the produce market buying veggies at 8 AM when they opened. Came home and chopped the veggies. I had to make enough for 20 people (yeah, we also can’t have an intimate father’s day celebration–all of his friends and the neighborhood has to come). I finish putting the kabobs together and drink a pot of coffee because it’s the only thing keeping me moving these days.

Around 11 AM, I put my bathing suit on and went out to the pool where I sunbathed for about 15 minutes in peace before my crazy neice and nephew came over. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend the afternoon, but dear lord they are screamers. I took a few pictures of them and I would post all of them, except Blogger sucks ass.

Later that afternoon, showed up at my dad’s with veggies and then spent the rest of the time irritated because they all tried to set me up with a friend of my sister’s. I guess when I say that someone is a loser and one of the dumbest people I’ve ever met, they really hear me saying sure. Well, the guy showed up around 6 and I was later told that it was the guy who wanted to hook up with me. I told my sister that he makes me want to vomit, so she needed to discourage him. I told her to tell him anything, I really don’t care. Ended up coming home at 9, exhausted and overstimulated. I slept for about 2 hours last night before I was watching bad middle of the night TV.

Here is Morgan right before jumping in the water.

Here is Connor in his “I’m a little man” pose.

Sunday: Got up early and walked. Tried to do yoga yet again, but my body is just too damn tired. Made my famous guacamole for my mom and went over to her house to celebrate father’s day with my stepdad. I was looking forward to this, since my stepdad has been more like a dad to me than my real dad. Got there and played with my neice and nephew the whole afternoon. Morgan said the following to me and I believe that it hurt me in the best way possible, “Aunt Debbie, I don’t want to lose you.” I asked her where I would go. She said, “I don’t know, I just want to keep you forever.” I told her that I was hers forever and then she said, “I love you so much.” And then she jumped on me and gave me a huge hug. Oh dear, I was a mess. Her parents are going through a very ugly divorce and I think she’s having trouble.

My stepsiblings were there, of course, and spending time with them is a special kind of hell. Even after 20 years. My one stepsister, the one that yelled for her “mommy” in this post, is binging and purging. I heard her in the bathroom this evening after dinner. She’s looking like a skeleton and everyone has told her she needs help. She thinks we don’t know what we’re talking about and that the thinner woman are the better. She’s also not a very nice person (backstabber/liar/judgemental) who thinks she’s highly intelligent, when she’s really a dumbass. I really like my other stepsister. She IS highly intelligent and really cool. I don’t have enough time in this post to talk about my stepbrother (he is Morgan and Connor’s dad). All I’ll say is that he and I have an understanding. He’s nice to me and I ignore him. Because I will bring that fucker down. It seems like I’m the only one in the family that isn’t afraid of him. I never have been. He has (in a nutshell): cheated on his wife (one of the most beautiful, kind people on this earth), beat his wife up when she found out, mentally abused her the past year, and has been living my mom and stepdad for over a year. He’s a loser. Oh, and he’s a cop so he gets away with everything. My stepdad is absolutely embarrassed by him beyond words. It’s a shame. So, other than all that it was a nice day. Dinner was good and we were entertained by the kids.

That’s all. I have exactly nine days of work until I take a week’s vacation. I’m not going on a trip or anything. I’m playing it by ear. It will just be nice to not be at work.

Time to pop the Tylenol PM. Wish me luck.

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I want to go home and relax…

I’m here at work. I have no motivation. I have piles of manuscripts and proofs on my desk and I keep staring at them. I planned on getting a few things out of the way and then taking the afternoon off (my meeting in NYC got cancelled because the author needed to catch a flight to Malta. Yeah Malta?). But my boss shot me down. Denied. Why? Because she needs me to do something for her. She wants someone she can trust. I wanted to say, bite me. So, I’ll be here. At my desk. Not in my pool on my lounge, reading. No sun. No swimming. No margaritas (well not this afternoon, maybe tonight) and no tan. At least not today.

Even though I love the summer, you will hear me complain about the heat constantly. This is my first summer with y’all and I just felt I needed to warn you about that. You see, summer only represents one thing to me…three months until Autumn. My favorite time of the year. Fuck the ‘holiday season’. I love the fall. I’m like a child then. I’m always outside. I make homemade apple cider and rib-sticking food every weekend. And then I eat it ouside. I love it. So, although summer is fun and you can get a tan and there are lots of barbacue’s and there’s the beach, it’s only the prelude to the season when I shine. Besides, the beach is much better in the fall.

Okay, that was corny.

The yoga thing isn’t happening for me at the moment. I think I’m too weak from being tired to hold the poses as long as I should. So, I’ve reduced the workout to just basic stretching until my ass gets itself together sleepwise. I’m still walking/running, depending on my mood and how strong I’m feeling. This is very humbling, this weakness shit. I’m a very strong person and I can’t believe what fatigue reduces you to. It sucks.

Thank you all so much for your book suggestions. Please keep them coming. I did buy three books yesterday and you’ll see them on my sidebar. One is rubbish, one is a sort of a biography (it looked interesting), and one is a critically acclaimed bestseller that I’ve been meaning to buy for months (yes, broke the bestseller rule. who cares?). I moved the links to below my the websites I like because the list was a distraction from my blog links and my babies’ blog links need to be first.

I’ll leave you with this picture of me that I found while cleaning out my work computer. I have no idea why it was saved on there. I don’t remember this one being taken, but I like how my hair falls.

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