I think I’ve seen it all with regards to poo. Really. I have.
Ready….
A homeless guy is standing outside of Dunkin Donuts holding the door for patrons saying loudly,”Ah, man I gotta shit. Can’t hold dis door here much longa. Ah man.” He then walks away.
Inside Dunkin Donuts, everyone is laughing at the poor guy. I get my coffee and leave. I walk about 10 feet and am passing an alley and I hear deep moaning and a man mutter, “Oh Lord that be some good shittin.”
Oh course, because I am nosey I look and I see the homeless guy midshit. I gag and continue to walk.
Now here are my questions….
- Why did I have to look? I knew someone was shitting and suspected it was the dirty homeless guy. Why? Why did I look?
- Why does it seem like at least once a month someone is pooing in public near me?
- Lately, I’ve been having lots of poo conversations. Why?
- And finally, why are there so many people that smell like poo? Ew.
If anyone could help me find the answers to these probing questions, that would be great. I think there’s too much poo in my life right now.
A non-poo item to discuss: JR Estelle, from These Crazy Times, is participating in the Atlanta AIDS walk and she would be extremely grateful if you all could sponsor her for the event. She’s trying to raise $250. Please go to the sidebar and clink on the link! Thanks.
you go girl!!!
Huh?
1 – You had to look for the same reason I had to look over when Penny whipped her boob out… I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty, and I knew that based on conversational cues I should have expected it, but it’s human nature to look anyway… Like a train wreck, you just can’t look the other way. (Which explains Tara Reid’s popularity.)
2 – No clue.
3 – I don’t know.
4 – Because they think if they don’t bathe they too can marry a pop star like Britney Spears… I mean it clearly worked for K-Fed. (And you know he smells like poo!)
Ewwww! I don’t know why you looked, but then again I don’t know why I look at peoples shoes when I am in the bathroom so whatever LOL….
I’m going to go with that train wreck theory…
I don’t know, Fresh, but I’ve been traumatized the same way. In the car waiting for my hubby to bring lunch out of a carry-out in D.C., I look into the alley and see a crazy-looking lady squatting against the wall.
For this, we should be in therapy.
I have a new catch-phrase! Thanks!!
hmm yuck o!!! I’m not sure why you look possibly because you cant believe what you are hearing??
and I too have found lots of people smell like shit!! dont they wipe or wash ????
not sure why you seem to be so poo attracted lately…
RR
You have more poo encounters than anyone I know. It’s a gift? If it is, re-gift that sucker, in a hurry.
you have all the fun. i haven’t ever seen a public display of poo.
liz said it… train wreck. You just can’t not look. But if you hadn’t looked, wouldn’t you be wondering if it was really happening?
bella
“Oh Lord that be some good shittin.”
I can’t stop laughing. That’s priceless.
In college, there was this weird (but nice) guy who appeared everywhere that I was. Finally, once day, I said, “Dude — you are ubiquitous!” He smiled a little crooked smile and said, “Well, then YOU are ubiquitous as well.” So, maybe right now POO is talking to other POO and saying, “There is this hot chick with great jugs, and dude — she is everywhere that I go!”
I would suggest a proper converstaion with Piglet, Owl, and Tigger to see if they cannot perhaps lead you to the answers you seek about Pooh…
Love your blog btw…
Poo is really funny. I would have looked as well, I think anyone who says they wouldn’t is lying.
LOL – I don’t mean to laugh but…first a thanks again for the link to my donation page!!!
Second, when I lived in NYC, I saw a man drop his pants in the subway, hang his ass over the platform and shit on the tracks. Yes it is like a trainwreck you shouldn’t look but you can’t BELIEVE it’s happening.
Then again, check out the book, “Everybody Poops”.
lol
I would have looked. But I also fall for the “Does this smell gross to you . . . ” trick.
Everybody PooPs. Check it out on amazon. You might also wann check out “The Gas we Pass: The Story of Farts.”
My kids have these books.
OMG too funny!!!! Poo follows yoo!
🙂